Good Early Morning!
I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend. It's been way too long since I've sat down to the computer, although I have been writing to you all in my head for weeks on end! 2010 hit the ground running - I had a little bit of outside foolishness struggling through my doorways but I was so pre-occupied with more important things that the door was forced shut. Thank the Lord I really didn't have a moment to even allow my emotions to get the best of me. I am so excited to be back into the swing of productivity of writing/producing a series (BET's The Deal which airs at daily at 3am) while diligently working my personal plan; I feel alot more alive when I'm running around with no time. I have always accomplished more with less time. Funny how it works that way...
Last weekend I treated myself to a stroll around the neighborhood. Although I walk to various locations in downtown Newark all the time, I rarely take the opportunity to just sight see or walk around aimlessly. I didn't have a goal in mind; I just wanted to walk and breathe. One particular block caught my attention and I continued to turn the same corners 7 times while engaging in a rivoting phone conversation about relationships with my writing partner. Although I was running my mouth, I was very aware of my surroundings and taking mental notes. Interestingly, I noticed something new about the block every single time I circled around.
Once I got off the phone, I went into the Art Kitchen, the Coffee Cave, and two art galleries. All of these landmarks were foreign and completely new to me. I had a great time sitting or perusing through each one. I was in no particular rush so I spent the entire day just relaxing as I arrived at each destination.
I found extreme excitement and joy in spotting something new every time I turned the corner of Halsey Street. I feel that way about every experience; nine times out of ten, we do not receive the entire lesson when we experience something the first time around so sometimes we have to keep going back to that familiar place in order to obtain something else. We may not even realize there's more to experience but we find outselves at similar junctures time and again until finally, we see and experience all that's there for us.
In my efforts to be more decisive and intutive, I'm becoming way more in tune...or at least becoming a better listener/observer to my own layers. Lately I've been awakening to more of my artist spirit in an attempt to get to know the various pieces of Kristen Victoria. I have decided to take up some sort of visual art (probably coloring and sketching) and get in front of a microphone. If you've been near me in the past couple of days, I've been screaming about how much I want to record an r&b mixtape. I've always loved to sing but since I always thought I could dance better than I could sing, people only know me as a dancer. Actually I only really know myself as a dancer. I don't even need others to hear what I put together; I just want to hear myself and see where I can go with ideas, words, rhythms, and the freedom of a new creative space.
As the days go by (in this new decade), I am hoping that we all can work on releasing more of our self-judgements in order to reveal pieces of ourselves we've previously put to bed. Over the weekend, I held the first few rehearsals for my scripted series Sellout and the feeling of my words coming alive feels incredibly fulfilling and humbling. It felt like my characters have FINALLY come off of the page and stepped onto Earth and right into the room. But this did not happen until I was ready for it to happen....until I called it up...until I stopped judging my work for not being good enough. I finally just said, 'I don't care, I just want to get something on film.' Now, we'll see how the project evolves but my characters are in the flesh because I am open to that. I finally hit the block and saw something that spoke to my spirit in a different way, that allowed me to go in without pre-judging and just say here's me, here's my art, and I'm gonna do something with it.
I realize we spend more time fighting ourselves than other people. But how did we get this way? How and why did we start caring about what other people thought of us over what we thought of ourselves? Why is social acceptance or 'rightness' so important? And furthermore, when did we start believing that a life without truth and love is even acceptable? If anything, I've been spending more of my time studying how to revert to our God selves - being full of clarity and bringing peace to our lives and circumstances. When did we lose that? I suppose I'll spend more time becoming more peaceful as opposed to figuring out how we became less peaceful. Gotta keep the forward moving and thinking on the horizon...
Life is funny. Has anyone read any Neale Donald Walsch books? I hardly recommend him. I'm gonna read a few pages and hit the hay. I've gotta get back to my regularly scheduled Chronicles. I miss you guys when I'm away too long.
Have a great week and do something you've never done to achieve something you've never achieved...(and tell me about it!) Keep sketching, keep dreaming, keep putting love thoughts into action!!!
Creating Always,
Kristen Victoria
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