How are you? We're getting closer and closer to my favorite time of the year!! I love to roast in the summer, but there's something to be said for the momentum of Spring. Mother nature starts granting our wish to turn up the heat, and suddenly there's a boost, a feeling of rebirth that seems to come over everything. As the flowers bloom, I've felt a resurgence in my life, one that is welcomed and deeply appreciated.
During 1st Quarter, I was feeling hopeful but incredibly reconstructive. Because of that frame of mind - coming from a point of lack and 'regrouping,' I felt very needy. I need more money, more time to myself, more attention, more encouragement, MORE to 'get it right.' If I had X, I'd feel Z. When will I get (fill in the blank)? How can I get (fill in the blank)?
Upon expressing these thoughts to my mother, she sent me a Daily Word entry the very next morning that said three words -
I AM ENOUGH.
I stared at that email for a few moments and let those words seep in. I continued to say that phrase to myself during the day's journey, and my internal voice began to sing. I have near-perfect health, I have a supportive family, I have a home, a PEACEFUL home at that. I have love, I have true friends, and the honesty that I so desire from others, I have from myself and from my Source. In the days that followed, I spent more time basking in the glory of what my life is at this very moment.
I can't recall the exact moment where things started to click again - when I started to feel inspired and free to dream as opposed to fearful of my dreams. Hold on - when and why did that even happen?!?! Argh! When I absorbed the 'reality' of the world - when I began accepting the images of the recession, feeling for people who are depressed as opposed to acknowledging their circumstances and NOT taking on their burdens, when I was inspired to pull greatness out of others when they were not willing to do it themselves. I had a moment when I forgot the beauty of this life experience. The great reality that we all have the potential to create in and around us. The clarity of asking for what I want and expecting for it to show up in my universe. That's the life that we are all born to live!
So these thoughts spawned other heart-glowing experiences. In March, I hit the recording studio for the first time. I recorded my educational version of Ludacris's Pimpin All Over The World entitled 'Learnin All Over The World.' I wrote it in 2005 for my summer program's graduation song. I also was led to record a song called 'Roadblock.' I was pissed at myself for literally feeling like I hit a fork in the road and didn't know where to turn. I was upset that when I heard the beat, those words came pouring out of me as opposed to some happy-go-lucky song. I sang it against my 'wanna be perfect' side of myself, and vowed to never play it back cause those feelings are just silly...
I can't recall the exact moment where things started to click again - when I started to feel inspired and free to dream as opposed to fearful of my dreams. Hold on - when and why did that even happen?!?! Argh! When I absorbed the 'reality' of the world - when I began accepting the images of the recession, feeling for people who are depressed as opposed to acknowledging their circumstances and NOT taking on their burdens, when I was inspired to pull greatness out of others when they were not willing to do it themselves. I had a moment when I forgot the beauty of this life experience. The great reality that we all have the potential to create in and around us. The clarity of asking for what I want and expecting for it to show up in my universe. That's the life that we are all born to live!
So these thoughts spawned other heart-glowing experiences. In March, I hit the recording studio for the first time. I recorded my educational version of Ludacris's Pimpin All Over The World entitled 'Learnin All Over The World.' I wrote it in 2005 for my summer program's graduation song. I also was led to record a song called 'Roadblock.' I was pissed at myself for literally feeling like I hit a fork in the road and didn't know where to turn. I was upset that when I heard the beat, those words came pouring out of me as opposed to some happy-go-lucky song. I sang it against my 'wanna be perfect' side of myself, and vowed to never play it back cause those feelings are just silly...
When I got out of the booth, the engineer began talking about his career and he asked if I had read the book 'The Secret.' I blurted out, 'I have, but I think I may have forgotten it.' I took that moment seriously because that was my heart speaking to me. I really had forgotten the secret for a second! My heart was telling me to continue to seek and to pick up the book because just maybe it has something for me to absorb. I have read alot of 'Mind Body and Spirit' books in the past few months to get that thing back. To get that zeal for life to magically return...but everything is a process, everything is a cycle and it happened when I turned my perspective from emptiness to expectation. And funny, I finally played that song back this past Saturday and started laughing. What a difference a few weeks has made...I don't even feel that way anymore. As opposed to feeling a road block, I feel like the world has opened up...
I say all of this to say - let's make life our playground. I have remembered the greatness of thought, of perspective, of thankfulness. I am so thankful for this time, this space, and this moment...that I'm bursting at the seams. Now I have to settle into feeling great because it's a feeling I forgot. *shakes fist at 2009* Lol...let's continue to look forward, to take every experience as a learning tool that is preparing us for receiving greatness in every area. I realize now that things aren't so cut and dry, that we go through phases, that we can't take things so personally and that it takes time to heal, process, and run toward our joy. But when we do, people better start running with us or run off the road! WORD!!!
And on that note - love, laughter, and loyalty always! I love you all so much. (And for those speed readers, I hope this touches you too!!!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7Lj6xf9XPU
Love,
Kristen Victoria
I say all of this to say - let's make life our playground. I have remembered the greatness of thought, of perspective, of thankfulness. I am so thankful for this time, this space, and this moment...that I'm bursting at the seams. Now I have to settle into feeling great because it's a feeling I forgot. *shakes fist at 2009* Lol...let's continue to look forward, to take every experience as a learning tool that is preparing us for receiving greatness in every area. I realize now that things aren't so cut and dry, that we go through phases, that we can't take things so personally and that it takes time to heal, process, and run toward our joy. But when we do, people better start running with us or run off the road! WORD!!!
And on that note - love, laughter, and loyalty always! I love you all so much. (And for those speed readers, I hope this touches you too!!!)
http://www.youtube.com/wat
Love,
Kristen Victoria
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