Happy Friday!
I hope this reaches everyone in great spirits. The holiday season is one of reflection and reunion, but can also be a time of hardship and heavy hearts. It is my sincere hope that you all feel loved, appreciated, and supported all year round. I am sending positive energy, health, happiness, creativity and joy to each of you.
We are 13 days away from 2010!!! A new beginning, a fresh start, a kick in the heineken and I LOVE IT. My dream sheet has been fine-tuned into a precise goal list, and I'm ready to just bust through the '10 wall. I've had many conversations with my 2009, and I am very happy that we have come to a place of harmony and understanding. It took us a good minute but I have worked with 2009 to resolve any feelings of uncertainty, confusion, and hostility. It is my pleasure to hug it out with 2009 and salute the year with a smile.
Recently, 2009 sat down with me and explained itself. It said, "You are a beautiful bird, and the time has come for you to spread your wings and fly. But if you have never used your wings to soar, we must stretch and prepare them. That preparation can leave you feeling sore and uncomfortable because you've never used your wings before. These are foreign movements. You may want to lay down because the stretching hurts so much, but you've already started the workout so it's best that you struggle through it. You've gotten stronger and stronger but instead of focusing on the growth, you focused on the pain. You told me your wings looked and felt different. You said you didn't fit in with the baby birds and they made fun of your black and blue wings. You wanted to look, feel and act as you did in the past. You questioned if you should get back in the nest with the other baby birds, but it was too late. You had already opened your mouth and expressed to me that you wanted to fly. I'm going to see to it that you learn how to fly with ease, grace, and most importantly, the feeling of freedom. Once you become comfortable with our training, you will feel more willing to fly alone, and then you'll grow into comfort and finally confidence. This is the only way we can fly. We have to learn."
I looked at 2009 and cried, but this time I cried happy tears. Through my training process, I never thought of 2009 as a mentor. I saw him/her as an enemy, someone trying to push me off the edge or drown me. I felt nervous and offended. "Why can't I just get my footing? Why won't you LEAVE ME ALONE! I don't want to do this anymore." But 2009 never left my side. Whenever I felt my wings flapping frantically, 2009 put me on his/her back for a moment until I gathered my bearings. I didn't like when he/she put me right back on that cliff but each time I opened my wings, I stayed in the air a little longer.
2009, you've trained me well. You've forced me to face my fears. You caused me look at my wings and understand I am equipped to fly. I have the necessary tools for magnificent flight. You have prepared me for flight but I must decide if I will soar. I thank you for this challenge and I love you for it.
*
This is a year I will never forget. A full year of firsts - unemployment, writer's block, heartburn, facing my personal & professional insecurities, producers' interest followed by lack of follow-through to meeting almost every producer I've ever wanted to meet, pitching at my first festival, planning my family reunion, staying with my father for the first time, pitching my material, solidifying my creative team, casting my projects, and opening my heart to opportunities to grow, love, relate, collaborate, and discover my purpose on this planet. Wow! 2009, you turned my world upside down. I hope that I have done you proud. I will take your lessons and meet 2010 with wide eyes and my heart open. And yes I know, 2010 won't allow me to hold its hand but hopefully he/she'll have a sturdy back in case I need to jump up there for a moment! :)
Thank you for everything.
Love Always,
Kristen Victoria
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
The 'Crossover' Chronicles of Kris - 12/3/09
Hey Family,
I'm back. It's been too long. I've missed you. Within the last month, enough people have inspired me to get off my duff & back to the Chronicles. Thank you for allowing me to have your eyes. Thank you for your words of encouragement, as I, too, continue to journey through this thing called life. Because of this cycle of transition and transformation, I found myself wondering if I was doing the 'whoa is me' dance - taking you through too many dips and turns without any Cha Cha slides. I, secretly or not so secretly, love to make people laugh and I was upset I wasn't chuckling. I was really mad I didn't find my growing and changing funny; that I no longer wanted to wrap my experiences up by 'finding the lesson.' So I shut up for a minute and did my 'where's my life going' quandery silently.
Of course, that question plagues each and every one of us daily. I, however, literally cannot escape what seems to be my path. I had pretty much stopped writing altogether for these past two months and in November, I was hit with multiple dreams, meetings, and once in a lifetime debacles. I am being shaken around to the point where I have to fight for my voice. I have no choice but to continue shouting from the rooftops - I HAVE SOMETHNG TO SAY. And it's also been made very clear, that I can either sit around and think about what I wanna do and where I wanna go...or I can just, DUH, do it!!!
Before every road trip, my mother and I bow our heads and say, 'Lord, you are the pilot. I am merely the co-pilot. Please get us to and from safely & soundly. Amen.' We expect to reach our destination unharmed, knowing that God has wrapped His wings around our car. When I travel in planes, I think of Him holding our aircraft, the way that kids direct their toys through the air. It helps unnerve me because I have a fear of flying.
Well...I am currently staring my goals and fear of the unknown in the face so...ahem, here goes -
'Lord, you are the writer, the producer, the director. I am merely the co-writer, co-producer, co-director. Please work through me each and every day as I finish the final draft of this screenplay, begin casting, and seeing these projects through. Please allow me to think, speak, walk with confidence, and share my message and creativity. Amen.'
I love the last month of the year because it's two-fold: the last lap (although this is a cyclical thing, we really don't start a new but it's nice to think along these lines) and the pre-start to the start. It's like brushing your teeth and tying up your shoes before a good morning run. 2010 - here we come! So I'm dedicated to finishing this year with zest, allowing the unknown to encourage me as opposed to plague me. I'm starting the new year with a sense of determination, focus, willingness, openness, and hunger because the only thing that remains the same is change. Constant growth, forward movement, and uphill climbing! My legs may get sore but I can always take a deep breath, regroup, and keep climbing. No looking back!
So 2009, you have blessed me with lots of lessons, mileage, new friends, and more stories to share. And I'm thankful to continue learning and LAUGHING and finding more about the stuff I'm made of.
*
IF YOU'RE IN THE NEW YORK CITY AREA, COME TO 'THE BLUE CONGLOMERATE - VIDEO PREMIERE & NETWORKING EVENT' AT KATRA LOUNGE, 217 BOWERY. HOSTED BY JAZZIDREAMER ENTERTAINMENT & IFILL EVENTS!
*
Love & Hugs for Days,
Kris
P.S. Dang, I just realized the 'Chronicles' turns 2 tomorrow. :)
I'm back. It's been too long. I've missed you. Within the last month, enough people have inspired me to get off my duff & back to the Chronicles. Thank you for allowing me to have your eyes. Thank you for your words of encouragement, as I, too, continue to journey through this thing called life. Because of this cycle of transition and transformation, I found myself wondering if I was doing the 'whoa is me' dance - taking you through too many dips and turns without any Cha Cha slides. I, secretly or not so secretly, love to make people laugh and I was upset I wasn't chuckling. I was really mad I didn't find my growing and changing funny; that I no longer wanted to wrap my experiences up by 'finding the lesson.' So I shut up for a minute and did my 'where's my life going' quandery silently.
Of course, that question plagues each and every one of us daily. I, however, literally cannot escape what seems to be my path. I had pretty much stopped writing altogether for these past two months and in November, I was hit with multiple dreams, meetings, and once in a lifetime debacles. I am being shaken around to the point where I have to fight for my voice. I have no choice but to continue shouting from the rooftops - I HAVE SOMETHNG TO SAY. And it's also been made very clear, that I can either sit around and think about what I wanna do and where I wanna go...or I can just, DUH, do it!!!
Before every road trip, my mother and I bow our heads and say, 'Lord, you are the pilot. I am merely the co-pilot. Please get us to and from safely & soundly. Amen.' We expect to reach our destination unharmed, knowing that God has wrapped His wings around our car. When I travel in planes, I think of Him holding our aircraft, the way that kids direct their toys through the air. It helps unnerve me because I have a fear of flying.
Well...I am currently staring my goals and fear of the unknown in the face so...ahem, here goes -
'Lord, you are the writer, the producer, the director. I am merely the co-writer, co-producer, co-director. Please work through me each and every day as I finish the final draft of this screenplay, begin casting, and seeing these projects through. Please allow me to think, speak, walk with confidence, and share my message and creativity. Amen.'
I love the last month of the year because it's two-fold: the last lap (although this is a cyclical thing, we really don't start a new but it's nice to think along these lines) and the pre-start to the start. It's like brushing your teeth and tying up your shoes before a good morning run. 2010 - here we come! So I'm dedicated to finishing this year with zest, allowing the unknown to encourage me as opposed to plague me. I'm starting the new year with a sense of determination, focus, willingness, openness, and hunger because the only thing that remains the same is change. Constant growth, forward movement, and uphill climbing! My legs may get sore but I can always take a deep breath, regroup, and keep climbing. No looking back!
So 2009, you have blessed me with lots of lessons, mileage, new friends, and more stories to share. And I'm thankful to continue learning and LAUGHING and finding more about the stuff I'm made of.
*
IF YOU'RE IN THE NEW YORK CITY AREA, COME TO 'THE BLUE CONGLOMERATE - VIDEO PREMIERE & NETWORKING EVENT' AT KATRA LOUNGE, 217 BOWERY. HOSTED BY JAZZIDREAMER ENTERTAINMENT & IFILL EVENTS!
*
Love & Hugs for Days,
Kris
P.S. Dang, I just realized the 'Chronicles' turns 2 tomorrow. :)
The 'T-E-A-M' Chronicles of Kris - 10.14.09
Hey Good People,
How are you? It's been a while so I hope this email reaches everyone in a good place! I've been very good, happily occupied in work & play and starting the countdown for my 25th birthday party - NOVEMBER 21ST - that hopefully everyone can make. It's been months since I've seen most of you and I'd love to know how you're doing.
I just wanted to regroup with this sounding board because lately, I've been generally unmoved to write. Of course there's always funny things running through this head of mine but that's not the issue at hand; it's simply time to spend more energy supporting the 'we' as opposed to the 'I.'
Recently, a few close friends and I have spoken at length about dealing with relationships, mostly in regards to having the attention to tend to self and others versus needing to retreat and get our emotions together to then face the world and our loved ones again. Those interactions can be work, family, love, mentor to peer, or friend relationships but no matter how big or small, sometimes we need to just claim our moment to clear our heads and plant our feet again.
Now that we've entered the fourth quarter of the year - and thank the Lord I am finishing strong cause I wasn't so sure about this year a few months ago - I feel like 2009 has been the year of relating: understanding myself in relation to the world and others. I have continually repeated this to myself as I've experienced various highs and lows and highs again, exposed self-criticisms and greatnesses, and discovered more of what I want from myself and what I hope for in this life. Growth is not always comfortable but I am getting used to squirming, asking even more questions than I have posed to you, and making the most of every moment given.
All in all, I am deeply appreciative for all of you. I am so excited that quite a few of you have connected in ways that have changed lives, and I can only hope that we use this circle for the betterment of each other. I desire less to use this forum to speak about myself, and more as a support to encourage each other's growth and providing a universal sounding board. I am currently moving through how to best utilize this awesome community. Hopefully we can do so as I continually reach out and email-harass most of you on a weekly basis. :)
If I have not spoken to you in a while, please please please write back (not reply all!) and let me know what's been going on in your life. I know everyone's transitioning, so please let me know if there's anything I can do to lend a helping hand.
Peace and Love Always!!!
XOXO
Kristen Victoria
How are you? It's been a while so I hope this email reaches everyone in a good place! I've been very good, happily occupied in work & play and starting the countdown for my 25th birthday party - NOVEMBER 21ST - that hopefully everyone can make. It's been months since I've seen most of you and I'd love to know how you're doing.
I just wanted to regroup with this sounding board because lately, I've been generally unmoved to write. Of course there's always funny things running through this head of mine but that's not the issue at hand; it's simply time to spend more energy supporting the 'we' as opposed to the 'I.'
Recently, a few close friends and I have spoken at length about dealing with relationships, mostly in regards to having the attention to tend to self and others versus needing to retreat and get our emotions together to then face the world and our loved ones again. Those interactions can be work, family, love, mentor to peer, or friend relationships but no matter how big or small, sometimes we need to just claim our moment to clear our heads and plant our feet again.
Now that we've entered the fourth quarter of the year - and thank the Lord I am finishing strong cause I wasn't so sure about this year a few months ago - I feel like 2009 has been the year of relating: understanding myself in relation to the world and others. I have continually repeated this to myself as I've experienced various highs and lows and highs again, exposed self-criticisms and greatnesses, and discovered more of what I want from myself and what I hope for in this life. Growth is not always comfortable but I am getting used to squirming, asking even more questions than I have posed to you, and making the most of every moment given.
All in all, I am deeply appreciative for all of you. I am so excited that quite a few of you have connected in ways that have changed lives, and I can only hope that we use this circle for the betterment of each other. I desire less to use this forum to speak about myself, and more as a support to encourage each other's growth and providing a universal sounding board. I am currently moving through how to best utilize this awesome community. Hopefully we can do so as I continually reach out and email-harass most of you on a weekly basis. :)
If I have not spoken to you in a while, please please please write back (not reply all!) and let me know what's been going on in your life. I know everyone's transitioning, so please let me know if there's anything I can do to lend a helping hand.
Peace and Love Always!!!
XOXO
Kristen Victoria
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