I'm most honest with myself when I write, which is why I'm constantly scribbling. I generally write four Chronicles a week in my head but sit down to pen one, if any at all. My emotions have been topsy turvy within the last seven days. Thankfully, I've had creativity to distract me - with full-time work & independent projects stealing most of the minutes in my day, it doesn't leave too much idle time for me to ponder about moments past. And thank the good Lord for that! However, in between takes, there's this faint voice telling me that I need to sit down and meditate or at least write. So here goes...
This morning I hit a milestone. I listened to Eric Roberson. Yes. For the first time in months. This time last year, I had just discovered his music and purchased all of his albums but it wasn't long before he was torn away from me. Or I gave him away. We had to break up...well because...other things had broken up. After crying to him on more than a few occasions, I couldn't bear to listen to any of his songs.
Don't you hate when that happens?! When great music becomes tainted by experience? You mistakenly create a soundtrack that leaves your record collection all screwed up. It's almost like robbery; a situation goes South and then all of a sudden your favorite songs become kill joys, stained by imperfection.
All music has some sort of stamp on it. We associate people, places, periods in our lives with melody. One of my all-time favorite songs 'Septembro' was introduced to me sixteen years ago in dance class, and I always reflect on those times in rehearsal and how much that song touched me as a 9 year old. I remember associating Mandy Moore's 'I Wanna Be With You' & Beenie Man's 'Girls Dem Sugar' to a high school crush. And Anthony Anderson's 'Charlene' to an awful kiss in college. LOL But I digress...
Here recently, I went through another transition and found a few songs caught in the middle. Of course, I do reflect on moments...but I decided to fight back and continue singing my song. I am not letting these tunes go up in flames over one moment in my life! It's just not gonna happen. These songs are too special to me. This is MY playlist and I'm not gonna allow anything to come between me and my music! My song selections aren't gonna be ruined just because a situation has run its course.
I didn't even realize I had changed my way of thinking and 'put my headphones on' until Eric Roberson showed up on my iPod. I paused for a second and then thought, 'Wow, when's the last time I heard this song?' I chuckled because I remembered right away - there I was, sitting in my bed, a hot, bubblin mess wiping my eyes with the back of my hand like a little kid who just got pushed by the class bully. Waaa waaa...ya'll know the growing pains...
Eric came back to me and my listening this morning was effortless. I guess it was to show me that I could literally face the music, face my past, and create a new present and future with the music I love. Although I'm telling this story for dramatic effect (lol), I really had shut his music out of my catalog and just shook my head with regret. But tonight I am currently reacquainting myself to his albums and am happy that I have him back. He won't be walking out of the door with the next dj such and such. Whether it's peaches & herb all day long or not, no one is taking my song. End of story.
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