Hi All,
Greetings from my living room floor! That's right...K. Carter is back in town. I've actually been physically on the East Coast for a week, but I'm just getting back "here." From the airport to the Making the Band office to making sure Diddy gets to the stage (without actually speaking to him EVER) to taping the second installment of The Chronicles of Kris to planning my Family Reunion, it's never ending. But it's Tuesday, a bright, sunny, gorgeous happy last Tuesday of the month. BLLESSSSSINNNGGSS to all. :)
Sometimes you just need a breather and LA definitely was that! I thought I would just be going out there to pitch my work, but I came home with so much more than that. I managed to break down and purchase my first iPod - this is a big accomplishment considering I had no problem running in the park with my UFO (aka my walkman). I got the opportunity to hang out with my father for the first time ever in life. A third and major highlight - I hung out with Damion Hall from Guy! You all know I am the ultimate 90s pheen queen so I was pretty freakin excited about that.
But the ultimate experience was getting in touch with Gina Prince Bythewood (writer of "Love & Basketball"), Reggie Bythewood (writer of "Biker Boys" / "Notorious"), and Yvette Lee Bowser (creator of "Living Single"). I didn't receive their phone calls until the day before I left LA...so there was a twinge of "fear" that I would leave LA having NOT accomplished my goal. Although I managed to speak with a few people in LA, I was praying to hear from the Bythewoods so it was a thrill to not only hear from them but to speak to them pretty much throughout my entire last day on the West Coast.
When Reggie called, he shared his experiences as a writer/producer in the industry. But through our conversations that day, the one thing that stood out to me was, "You say you want a mentor...mentor yourself. Your experiences will lead you and inform you." He offered to keep in touch, provide feedback, and stay in close contact, but he did not offer or claim to know the "right way." No matter where I walk, I am receiving the same messages. "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." "The questions will answer themselves." And lastly, "THERE IS NO ONE RIGHT WAY."
Previously, I've concentrated so much attention on doing things just so. "If I do this, I can get here. If I think this way, I'll definitely end here. If I CONTROL this, I can get just what I want." And actually, that way of thinking worked for me for a long time. I made "minor" mistakes but nothing too ego-shattering. But with bigger goals comes bigger risks, bigger challenges, bigger mistakes, and bigger life lessons. And no matter where I have turned (especially this particular year), it's all coming back to learning how to open up, allow, and receive the greatness that is here...when I, you, we are ready. For those who are there as I take my baby steps, thank you...even when I fight and scream and yell and holler, you manage to still be there. Thank you.
Love, Live, Laugh! And write back. :)
Kris
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
The 'Precious Cargo' Chronicles of Kris - 04/15/09
Rise and Shine Chroniclers,
Clearly I may be one of few just getting up, as most of you are Eastern Standard Timers! But Good early Morning to you anyway! My best friend Sabreen and I made it safely to LA; we touched down yesterday at noon. Anytime I travel, I seem to be a little agitated at first but that's only because I am nervous. I have a paranoia about losing my luggage so I always glare at my suitcase until one of the airport carriers THROWS (argh) my luggage onto the conveyor belt. I watch the bag, prayerfully, just in case it's the last time I see her. LOL But after staring my bag down for about 30 minutes, the carrier whisked my bag away per usual and I relaxed (a bit). Woosah!
When Sabreen and I boarded the flight, we noticed there were lots of kids. I forgot that children's spring break actually comes around the Resurrection observance, but there were little people galore. There were two little girls with matching pigtail hairstyles sitting directly in front of us. They were traveling alone. At first, they seemed very mild-mannered but now that I think of it, they were probably sleepy. When the older one took the baby to the bathroom, she looked us up and down. About 20 minutes later, the baby sister peaked through the crevice of the arm rest. She started dangling her miniature hands over the seat and here I go - "Awwww!" Sabreen quickly rolled her eyes as I lifted my hand to compare our sizes. She kept looking through and laughing, and then the older one finally looked back and said, "Hi!" They played this peak a boo game for a minute, placing things through the crevice to see if we'd take them. And then the older one starts rattling off. "My sister's just showing off."
Tia*, the 8-year old introduced herself, followed by Serena*, who's turning 5 this week. Tia ran down her sibling tree, mentioning that she's the middle child. She showed us a headband she's knitting, as Serena pulled her pigtails and started biting her. Tia kept rambling on but I think the kids were entertaining me more than we were entertaining them. (Is that what happens as you get older? Oooh goodness!) Tia broke out their mini-Chess set and a few toys, and when I got really bored, I asked her if I could borrow her coloring book. Sabreen was in and out of sleep at this point so Tia asked her if she could read one of her magazines. Sabreen passed it up front, and Tia started reading. Maybe an hour later, Sabreen notices the book is back on her lap. She looks down at the cover, and goes, "Oh no, do you think there was anything in there she shouldn't have read. I don't see anything revealing on the cover." I said, "probably." Sabreen poked Tia and asked, "Was there anything inappropriate in there?" Tia turns around quickly, "OOOH YEA. It was inappropriate alright." Tia starts dying laughing, and Sabreen tries to shush her. By the time we started landing, she turns around. "Don't fake an orgasm!" Sabreen's eyes literally pop out of her socket. SSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Tia starts up, "It said something about don't have sex with a teddy bear." She cracks up. As we're getting our stuff together, she lights up. "Sex, sex, sex!" We're waving our hands. NOOOOOOOO! Meanwhile, the little one is steady posing for pictures that we started taking on our camera phone. Tia did quiet down, but when we got to our destination, we rumaged through the magazine and discovered all of the key points in some crazy article that she absorbed, including don't sleep with a teddy bear in your bed.
It's so funny how little kids will just talk and light up. They weren't open books; Tia definitely mentioned that their mother doesn't like them speaking to strangers and we suggested that they hold firmly to that. She looked us up and down - or tried to from her seat - so I figured she checked us out and made sure we weren't weird or anything. Too bad Sabreen and I are old foggies because I really wanted to be pen pals with them but they're way too young to just randomly exchange information. Hey, I felt like 6 hours was bonding time...and that older one was so witty for an 8 year old. I'll probably remember her years from now, as I do most people I interact with (even in a short time span). She asked us when we'd be returning to Newark, and we said, "Oh on Tuesday." She replied, "We're coming back on Tuesday too. Maybe we'll see you!" We walked with them to meet their daddy, and then they pretty much forgot who we were when they saw him. Well no, they did happen to wave at us at baggage claim. I wonder who they'll both grow up to become.
That was definitely the highlight of the flight experience. Hope you guys have a great hump day! :)
Love and Hugs,
Kristen
*Yes, their names have been changed.
Clearly I may be one of few just getting up, as most of you are Eastern Standard Timers! But Good early Morning to you anyway! My best friend Sabreen and I made it safely to LA; we touched down yesterday at noon. Anytime I travel, I seem to be a little agitated at first but that's only because I am nervous. I have a paranoia about losing my luggage so I always glare at my suitcase until one of the airport carriers THROWS (argh) my luggage onto the conveyor belt. I watch the bag, prayerfully, just in case it's the last time I see her. LOL But after staring my bag down for about 30 minutes, the carrier whisked my bag away per usual and I relaxed (a bit). Woosah!
When Sabreen and I boarded the flight, we noticed there were lots of kids. I forgot that children's spring break actually comes around the Resurrection observance, but there were little people galore. There were two little girls with matching pigtail hairstyles sitting directly in front of us. They were traveling alone. At first, they seemed very mild-mannered but now that I think of it, they were probably sleepy. When the older one took the baby to the bathroom, she looked us up and down. About 20 minutes later, the baby sister peaked through the crevice of the arm rest. She started dangling her miniature hands over the seat and here I go - "Awwww!" Sabreen quickly rolled her eyes as I lifted my hand to compare our sizes. She kept looking through and laughing, and then the older one finally looked back and said, "Hi!" They played this peak a boo game for a minute, placing things through the crevice to see if we'd take them. And then the older one starts rattling off. "My sister's just showing off."
Tia*, the 8-year old introduced herself, followed by Serena*, who's turning 5 this week. Tia ran down her sibling tree, mentioning that she's the middle child. She showed us a headband she's knitting, as Serena pulled her pigtails and started biting her. Tia kept rambling on but I think the kids were entertaining me more than we were entertaining them. (Is that what happens as you get older? Oooh goodness!) Tia broke out their mini-Chess set and a few toys, and when I got really bored, I asked her if I could borrow her coloring book. Sabreen was in and out of sleep at this point so Tia asked her if she could read one of her magazines. Sabreen passed it up front, and Tia started reading. Maybe an hour later, Sabreen notices the book is back on her lap. She looks down at the cover, and goes, "Oh no, do you think there was anything in there she shouldn't have read. I don't see anything revealing on the cover." I said, "probably." Sabreen poked Tia and asked, "Was there anything inappropriate in there?" Tia turns around quickly, "OOOH YEA. It was inappropriate alright." Tia starts dying laughing, and Sabreen tries to shush her. By the time we started landing, she turns around. "Don't fake an orgasm!" Sabreen's eyes literally pop out of her socket. SSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Tia starts up, "It said something about don't have sex with a teddy bear." She cracks up. As we're getting our stuff together, she lights up. "Sex, sex, sex!" We're waving our hands. NOOOOOOOO! Meanwhile, the little one is steady posing for pictures that we started taking on our camera phone. Tia did quiet down, but when we got to our destination, we rumaged through the magazine and discovered all of the key points in some crazy article that she absorbed, including don't sleep with a teddy bear in your bed.
It's so funny how little kids will just talk and light up. They weren't open books; Tia definitely mentioned that their mother doesn't like them speaking to strangers and we suggested that they hold firmly to that. She looked us up and down - or tried to from her seat - so I figured she checked us out and made sure we weren't weird or anything. Too bad Sabreen and I are old foggies because I really wanted to be pen pals with them but they're way too young to just randomly exchange information. Hey, I felt like 6 hours was bonding time...and that older one was so witty for an 8 year old. I'll probably remember her years from now, as I do most people I interact with (even in a short time span). She asked us when we'd be returning to Newark, and we said, "Oh on Tuesday." She replied, "We're coming back on Tuesday too. Maybe we'll see you!" We walked with them to meet their daddy, and then they pretty much forgot who we were when they saw him. Well no, they did happen to wave at us at baggage claim. I wonder who they'll both grow up to become.
That was definitely the highlight of the flight experience. Hope you guys have a great hump day! :)
Love and Hugs,
Kristen
*Yes, their names have been changed.
The "Fall Back/Spring Forward" Chronicles of Kris - 03/26/09
Good Evening Beautiful People,
...And just like that, another month has flown by...goodness jimminy ticky tacky! This has been quite the month on this side of town, but before I even get into that - A HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who participated in the pilot taping of The Chronicles of Kris. For those who sent their well wishes via text and prayers, I truly truly thank you. You all are a big part of my journey and I really appreciate the support, love and laughter! We can never get enough of that...cause for those ready for the Chronicles movement (tee hee), oh it's coming!
I have a question. What makes a four year time period so significant? Elementary to middle school, middle to high school, high school to college, college to life...let's not forget presidential terms. This month has required some soul searching on my part and I noticed a pattern. Every third year, I have a major transition. During my third year in high school, it dawned on me that I could compete academically at my boarding school and my grade point average jumped. I started a dance group and did some friend shuffling. During my third year of college, I went through some sort of emotional cleansing...well if you know about fasting or any kind of flushing out, you know the first part HURTS...and hurts like hell. Although I had not been physically harmed at all in college, I just felt attacked. I remember being painfully upset with my father and a group of guys on campus because they wanted to get to "know" me instead of know me...and although they never "knew" me, I was very hurt that they were not interested in being my friend. I was so disturbed that when I came home that summer, I told my mother, "I want to stay in the house because I don't want to meet any new people." Now...you can't NOT meet people. She tried to talk me out of my funk, but that didn't come until I began teaching and fell in love with the kids and life. Since then, I've learned how to deal with people and situations in a way that works for me and leaves me generally comfortable.
But, just as fate would have it...dun dun dun...I'm in that third year of my life post-college. Eeek, oogie, and changing I am doing! And guess what? It hurrrtttssss! Actually, I'm readjusting and finding my nook of comfort in this transformative state I'm in. I just hit this place this week cause I have way too many things going on to sit in a rut. I've had so much to write to you about lately but I've been all over the place mentally/emotionally while in the same place physically. My career is evolving...but I've never really worried about that. I'm not even really afraid of that. It is what it is. But that other kind of growth, that kind of maturity that really matters...oooof! Ok I'll stop making sounds while I'm typing. LOL. I've made a few personal revelations lately about my interactions with the opposite sex. Until recently, I never fully internalized that I steer clear of relationships because subconsciously, I've felt a man's love is conditional, whether that's the love of a mate, friend, or family member - if you piss 'em off, they're gone, no questions asked!...and a woman's love is consistent, no matter what. This stems from being surrounded by strong women and not spending much time with adult men as a youngster (which ties right back into what we were discussing a few weeks ago in regards to relationships). In case you weren't a part of that conversation - Men, we need you! I came to this realization a few weeks ago when I thought I felt my heart crack (not break) when I came to grips with the fact that I was putting commitment emotions on a friendship status. Through careful self-analysis, I've learned that I cannot avoid the trials and tribulations of being vulnerable, being excited about being "more than friends." But sometimes that gets lost in translation...Hell, I've learned I can't escape being a woman and from now on, I don't think I'll ever judge someone else's situations or relationships. Dealing with people is all a part of life and if you (or I) think we can go on remaining in nice little protected huts, forget about it!
So, I'm feeling better. The sun is shining. I'm ready to get my Springtime/Summer jogging routine on and wear some bright colors. Cause life is beautiful and God is wonderful!
Let me just say, in my attempt to meet new people, I made a big mistake and gave my number to someone in the library. Yea, I know...it was February 30th, that day when I go against the grain. The person seemed alright until he smiled at me, I noticed he had two severely chipped teeth. No offense to the enamel impaired but I don't talk to you if you don't have nice teeth. End of story. That's what I get for being all nice. But you know why it took me so long to realize the gum game? I had my glasses on. Dog on it. Now I'm playing hide and don't find me! Have you ever answered your cell phone as if it were a land line - for example, "Hello?"...May I speak to Kristen?..."Oh, Kristen is not available. May I take a message?"...Yes, can you tell her Paul Bunyon called..."Yes, I'll be sure to do that." CLICK. Yep, that's me. Don't call back! LOL
Love live life. Go with your gut. Give things time to grow, breathe, and thrive on their own...and all the joys will be yours.
Kristen Victoria
...And just like that, another month has flown by...goodness jimminy ticky tacky! This has been quite the month on this side of town, but before I even get into that - A HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who participated in the pilot taping of The Chronicles of Kris. For those who sent their well wishes via text and prayers, I truly truly thank you. You all are a big part of my journey and I really appreciate the support, love and laughter! We can never get enough of that...cause for those ready for the Chronicles movement (tee hee), oh it's coming!
I have a question. What makes a four year time period so significant? Elementary to middle school, middle to high school, high school to college, college to life...let's not forget presidential terms. This month has required some soul searching on my part and I noticed a pattern. Every third year, I have a major transition. During my third year in high school, it dawned on me that I could compete academically at my boarding school and my grade point average jumped. I started a dance group and did some friend shuffling. During my third year of college, I went through some sort of emotional cleansing...well if you know about fasting or any kind of flushing out, you know the first part HURTS...and hurts like hell. Although I had not been physically harmed at all in college, I just felt attacked. I remember being painfully upset with my father and a group of guys on campus because they wanted to get to "know" me instead of know me...and although they never "knew" me, I was very hurt that they were not interested in being my friend. I was so disturbed that when I came home that summer, I told my mother, "I want to stay in the house because I don't want to meet any new people." Now...you can't NOT meet people. She tried to talk me out of my funk, but that didn't come until I began teaching and fell in love with the kids and life. Since then, I've learned how to deal with people and situations in a way that works for me and leaves me generally comfortable.
But, just as fate would have it...dun dun dun...I'm in that third year of my life post-college. Eeek, oogie, and changing I am doing! And guess what? It hurrrtttssss! Actually, I'm readjusting and finding my nook of comfort in this transformative state I'm in. I just hit this place this week cause I have way too many things going on to sit in a rut. I've had so much to write to you about lately but I've been all over the place mentally/emotionally while in the same place physically. My career is evolving...but I've never really worried about that. I'm not even really afraid of that. It is what it is. But that other kind of growth, that kind of maturity that really matters...oooof! Ok I'll stop making sounds while I'm typing. LOL. I've made a few personal revelations lately about my interactions with the opposite sex. Until recently, I never fully internalized that I steer clear of relationships because subconsciously, I've felt a man's love is conditional, whether that's the love of a mate, friend, or family member - if you piss 'em off, they're gone, no questions asked!...and a woman's love is consistent, no matter what. This stems from being surrounded by strong women and not spending much time with adult men as a youngster (which ties right back into what we were discussing a few weeks ago in regards to relationships). In case you weren't a part of that conversation - Men, we need you! I came to this realization a few weeks ago when I thought I felt my heart crack (not break) when I came to grips with the fact that I was putting commitment emotions on a friendship status. Through careful self-analysis, I've learned that I cannot avoid the trials and tribulations of being vulnerable, being excited about being "more than friends." But sometimes that gets lost in translation...Hell, I've learned I can't escape being a woman and from now on, I don't think I'll ever judge someone else's situations or relationships. Dealing with people is all a part of life and if you (or I) think we can go on remaining in nice little protected huts, forget about it!
So, I'm feeling better. The sun is shining. I'm ready to get my Springtime/Summer jogging routine on and wear some bright colors. Cause life is beautiful and God is wonderful!
Let me just say, in my attempt to meet new people, I made a big mistake and gave my number to someone in the library. Yea, I know...it was February 30th, that day when I go against the grain. The person seemed alright until he smiled at me, I noticed he had two severely chipped teeth. No offense to the enamel impaired but I don't talk to you if you don't have nice teeth. End of story. That's what I get for being all nice. But you know why it took me so long to realize the gum game? I had my glasses on. Dog on it. Now I'm playing hide and don't find me! Have you ever answered your cell phone as if it were a land line - for example, "Hello?"...May I speak to Kristen?..."Oh, Kristen is not available. May I take a message?"...Yes, can you tell her Paul Bunyon called..."Yes, I'll be sure to do that." CLICK. Yep, that's me. Don't call back! LOL
Love live life. Go with your gut. Give things time to grow, breathe, and thrive on their own...and all the joys will be yours.
Kristen Victoria
The "Mixed Messages" Chronicles of Kris - 02/16/09
Good Morning Ya'll,
Last night I had a conversation with yet another 30-something year old man who has taken a step back from dating. I am meeting alot of "exhausted" good men who are tired of dealing with women. They love 'em but for now, they're leaving 'em alone! Now, there's always been a misunderstanding between the male/female minds, but I think it's safe to say that with the "I'm an independent woman, hear me roar" and the "Man, I'm just gonna do me" attitudes running rampant, no one is trying to deal with the BS anymore. Why is there such a break down between the sexes? And the unsolved mystery - what can we do to get it together?
So let's take a step back. One of my ultimate pet peeves is an adult asking a young person (ages 11-16), "So...do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?" I HATE THAT! It's not cute. From my eyes, inquiries like this indirectly pressure kids to start thinking about the opposite sex. And I truly don't understand what for! Maybe I'm rigid in my thinking but no young person under the age of 19 (and that's still low) needs to even be considering dealing with anyone on a serious level. How are we gonna effectively communicate with someone when we haven't even figured ourselves out?!?
We women are taught very early on to think of marriage and babies. From the moment we come into this world, we receive doll babies, little doll houses, we're holding bottles for our Baby Alive, etc. I was always a Cabbage Patch and Muppets-type kid but for the most part, women receive these kinds of messages throughout our entire lives. I'm not sure what men are thinking about - maybe rough housing, school, sports - but I'm starting to hear that through the messages women get, we're putting undue pressure on our male counterparts before it's time. That kind of pressure can be anything from "gimme a kiss" to "be my prom date" to "I wanna have your baby" to "why won't you marry me." I've seen both men and women lose focus before they even knew what goals and dreams to focus on because they got caught up in relating. Now of course, every situation is different. Again, this is from my perspective.
Fast-forward to now. I am 2? years old. I have liked several people in my day, but haven't dated seriously. I used to think there was something wrong with that but now I see the distinct advantages of that. I know alot of "caught up" folks, and I know a lot of people who feel they wasted their youth trying to "play house" and have an adult relationship. You know that whole "wifey" thing – and by the way, what is "wifey"?!? I'm not knocking love in any way (I love to love!) BUT I am seriously alarmed by the number of people who feel trapped, hopeless in life and the pursuit of their goals cause they're under some man or woman.
So, this is what I'm seeing. Young men and women looking for love in all the wrong places and the wrong ways. Young women want to be "committed" (whatever that word means at 18 – hmph!) while young men are just putting up with it so they can have someone to poke. Either the guys got weasled into a relationship or they are just going with the flow and wind up shrugging their shoulders about it. Of course there are always the folks just looking to poke and move, and even the ones who do establish some kind of friendship but they end up confused and heartbroken.
Then, the gentlemen have already been hurt, so now they really don't give an f and have turned into men just looking to poke. And now, there's this phenomenon of the liberated woman also looking to poke cause they can't be bothered. This leaves us with a whole lot of poking and not a lot of emotional attachment. A lot of whining and complaining to our friends, but no "stick and stay" kind of bonds.
Everyone is exhausted! And it doesn't stop there; it just gets progressively worse! The 30-something single women don't wanna be single. The 30-something single man has taken themselves off the playing field (until they start dating younger). The 20-something year old woman writes off 20-something year old men because those men haven't dealt with their feelings enough to know what they are actually feeling. The 20-something year old man plays the field because there's a 20:1 ratio out here, until he eventually gets tired of that and he wants to actually settle down a bit. But then realizes all the late 20, 30-something single women are itching for marriage and babies and that's too much. And then everyone's giving ultimatums and ending up broken up anyway.
Gosh, doesn't that cycle just suck! Do I even wanna get in that? Where do I fall in the mess? Or will I find myself in a different playing field because I'm observing this before jumping in with my eyes closed? This is a never-ending topic…because we are directly and indirectly affected by societal images. We're internalizing what our family and friends think, we're constantly replaying our own life experiences, and then finally, we may or may not get to the point where we can point out what we may hope or desire…and how we get there.
Dog on it, learning new people is supposed to be fun! I thought loving and learning is/was natural! When did expectations – we're gonna jump from point A to X – become the ultimate kill joy?
So here's what I'm doing cause I'm trying to avoid that ugly rat race. I don't claim that whole "independent woman" nonsense because I think that's a total cop out – if you're about your business, you don't need to scream it, just do it! I'm learning to listen to men. Ladies, do not go to your female friends to get advice on guys. What the hell kinda sense does that make? Go to the source! And lastly, I try to avoid doing things that would cause me to wanna put pressure on myself or the guy. And that's it, I'm done. And even in all this, of course I wanna try new things and be on someone's arm, blah blah, but not with all that other stuff. Jim-mo-ne Pete, who needs that!? Not I!
Love and Hugs,
Kris
Last night I had a conversation with yet another 30-something year old man who has taken a step back from dating. I am meeting alot of "exhausted" good men who are tired of dealing with women. They love 'em but for now, they're leaving 'em alone! Now, there's always been a misunderstanding between the male/female minds, but I think it's safe to say that with the "I'm an independent woman, hear me roar" and the "Man, I'm just gonna do me" attitudes running rampant, no one is trying to deal with the BS anymore. Why is there such a break down between the sexes? And the unsolved mystery - what can we do to get it together?
So let's take a step back. One of my ultimate pet peeves is an adult asking a young person (ages 11-16), "So...do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?" I HATE THAT! It's not cute. From my eyes, inquiries like this indirectly pressure kids to start thinking about the opposite sex. And I truly don't understand what for! Maybe I'm rigid in my thinking but no young person under the age of 19 (and that's still low) needs to even be considering dealing with anyone on a serious level. How are we gonna effectively communicate with someone when we haven't even figured ourselves out?!?
We women are taught very early on to think of marriage and babies. From the moment we come into this world, we receive doll babies, little doll houses, we're holding bottles for our Baby Alive, etc. I was always a Cabbage Patch and Muppets-type kid but for the most part, women receive these kinds of messages throughout our entire lives. I'm not sure what men are thinking about - maybe rough housing, school, sports - but I'm starting to hear that through the messages women get, we're putting undue pressure on our male counterparts before it's time. That kind of pressure can be anything from "gimme a kiss" to "be my prom date" to "I wanna have your baby" to "why won't you marry me." I've seen both men and women lose focus before they even knew what goals and dreams to focus on because they got caught up in relating. Now of course, every situation is different. Again, this is from my perspective.
Fast-forward to now. I am 2? years old. I have liked several people in my day, but haven't dated seriously. I used to think there was something wrong with that but now I see the distinct advantages of that. I know alot of "caught up" folks, and I know a lot of people who feel they wasted their youth trying to "play house" and have an adult relationship. You know that whole "wifey" thing – and by the way, what is "wifey"?!? I'm not knocking love in any way (I love to love!) BUT I am seriously alarmed by the number of people who feel trapped, hopeless in life and the pursuit of their goals cause they're under some man or woman.
So, this is what I'm seeing. Young men and women looking for love in all the wrong places and the wrong ways. Young women want to be "committed" (whatever that word means at 18 – hmph!) while young men are just putting up with it so they can have someone to poke. Either the guys got weasled into a relationship or they are just going with the flow and wind up shrugging their shoulders about it. Of course there are always the folks just looking to poke and move, and even the ones who do establish some kind of friendship but they end up confused and heartbroken.
Then, the gentlemen have already been hurt, so now they really don't give an f and have turned into men just looking to poke. And now, there's this phenomenon of the liberated woman also looking to poke cause they can't be bothered. This leaves us with a whole lot of poking and not a lot of emotional attachment. A lot of whining and complaining to our friends, but no "stick and stay" kind of bonds.
Everyone is exhausted! And it doesn't stop there; it just gets progressively worse! The 30-something single women don't wanna be single. The 30-something single man has taken themselves off the playing field (until they start dating younger). The 20-something year old woman writes off 20-something year old men because those men haven't dealt with their feelings enough to know what they are actually feeling. The 20-something year old man plays the field because there's a 20:1 ratio out here, until he eventually gets tired of that and he wants to actually settle down a bit. But then realizes all the late 20, 30-something single women are itching for marriage and babies and that's too much. And then everyone's giving ultimatums and ending up broken up anyway.
Gosh, doesn't that cycle just suck! Do I even wanna get in that? Where do I fall in the mess? Or will I find myself in a different playing field because I'm observing this before jumping in with my eyes closed? This is a never-ending topic…because we are directly and indirectly affected by societal images. We're internalizing what our family and friends think, we're constantly replaying our own life experiences, and then finally, we may or may not get to the point where we can point out what we may hope or desire…and how we get there.
Dog on it, learning new people is supposed to be fun! I thought loving and learning is/was natural! When did expectations – we're gonna jump from point A to X – become the ultimate kill joy?
So here's what I'm doing cause I'm trying to avoid that ugly rat race. I don't claim that whole "independent woman" nonsense because I think that's a total cop out – if you're about your business, you don't need to scream it, just do it! I'm learning to listen to men. Ladies, do not go to your female friends to get advice on guys. What the hell kinda sense does that make? Go to the source! And lastly, I try to avoid doing things that would cause me to wanna put pressure on myself or the guy. And that's it, I'm done. And even in all this, of course I wanna try new things and be on someone's arm, blah blah, but not with all that other stuff. Jim-mo-ne Pete, who needs that!? Not I!
Love and Hugs,
Kris
The 'Glimpse at Christmas Past, Present, and Future' Chronicles of Kris - 12/23/08
PAST:
Just like Santa wrote down children's good deeds, he also kept a record of good mommies and daddies. Well of course, MY Mommy was at the top of the list because 'she's a P.T.P'er - Primetime Player. She's awesome with a capital A!' Every year Mommy would ask me for my Christmas list and like clockwork, it would be a mile long. Well one Christmas, I didn't think I was gonna make out so well. If I recall correctly, Mommy may have mentioned that things were a little tight on her end and I understood. We'd broken my piggy bank full of pennies to get food to eat so I imagine I put two and two together about needing money. Because we lived in a studio apartment with my grandmother, we couldn't fit an actual tree in our place so we had a miniature tree on top of our television. I stared at the tree when I went to sleep, praying that Santa received my letters! I was hopeful on Christmas Eve and when I woke up for a split second in the middle of the night, I saw shadows of boxes. But Santa sprinkled more sleepytime dust over my eyes so I fell back into a deep sleep. But when I rose that morning, there were goo gobbs of boxes with my name on it. Most of them said 'From Santa,' and when I woke up, I thought, 'See, I KNEW Mommy and Santa have a pact!! I KNEW IT! I knew he wouldn't let her down.' But how'd he get his big ol stomach through the crevice in our window anyway? (Cause we only had a slight opening in the window.) Aww, I wonder if he morphs shapes or if Mommy strong armed him into our home. To this day, I really don't believe how my Mommy was able to accomplish that. And I won't know how Christmas feels as a parent until I have children of my own. But all year round, she made sure that I never wanted for anything. And I am eternally grateful...
PRESENT:
For all of us Chroniclers in our 20s, I have a secret to share...we are babies in this thing! I always thought 2? was so wise and so mature, but being 2? is like being a kid in grown-up land. Not all the time, but sometimes! I've been experiencing and/or witnessing a few situations with people that have caused me to reflect a lot. These occurances take me back to thoughts of my childhood innocence but also my teenage idealism and insecurities. It took me a few years to understand the meaning of true friendship, the kind that strengthens, uplifts, encourages, and validates. But even with all that mushy stuff, true validation comes with self-acceptance and self-appreciation, and that comes with time, experience, and an open heart. Looking to other people (especially your own age) for acceptance is dangerous; people respond to the kind of energy you put out. So if you face your enemies or even your friends with a helpless nature, they're actually always going to respond to you like you're helpless. Not because they don't care, but simply because they're going through their own identity growth spurts and probably don't have the time or attention to deal with yours. In high school, I depended deeply on the opinions of friends. Since I was away at boarding school, that was the only thing that mattered to me. But the more I leaned on their shoulders, the more I felt they inched over so I could fall. The more I asked my peers 'Am I beautiful, am I this, am I that,' the less attractive I felt in a lot of ways. And because of that, I hated - I mean - HATED females, and it took me years to move passed that. It also took me a long time to get passed not having many adult male role models but that's a Chronicle for another day! I was very closed off for a while but those relationships, or lack there of, truly shaped how I view friendships now. I'm so grateful I experienced that then and not now. Imagine me being a Scrooge now? I know, not cute!
So anyway...I am extremely appreciative of the men and women who have changed my views of people, who have allowed and are allowing me to see the beauty of living. Those who have taken my hand and touched my heart because dog on it, you're awesome with a capital A! Those who have stood in the gaps for someone I thought would be there. Those who show me that without love and laughter, life is meaningless. I could go on and on because my life has truly been blessed through knowing you! Yes, yes you...you're not on the Chronicles for kicks!
FUTURE:
Hmmm, it's all seeming pretty cloudy honestly...which is a GREAT thing! The last time I felt like this was May 06 when I graduated. I didn't know what to expect...I just went with the flow and low and behold, after taking the most cleansing road trip ever with my cousin and best friend, I landed right into my profession/career as a writer. (I was always a writer but didn't consider myself one until someone told me I was one. SMH - lol) Lots of things are bubbling so that only means God's up to something! Now, you know what, that's awesome with a capital A! It could have been another way...Thank you all for being!
Our paths crossed for a reason...Soooooooo thankful for warmth in every sense of the word cause it could be a different way!!!!!!! Now go spread some good cheer!
Kristen Victoria
P.S. Just so you know, I found out Santa and Mommy were the same person when I decided to spend the holidays with another family member. I may have been 11 at the time and when I found out, I broke out into an argument with my cousins about how Santa just doesn't come to their home. It took me a few years to get over that! Actually I'm still a little salty now! :)
Just like Santa wrote down children's good deeds, he also kept a record of good mommies and daddies. Well of course, MY Mommy was at the top of the list because 'she's a P.T.P'er - Primetime Player. She's awesome with a capital A!' Every year Mommy would ask me for my Christmas list and like clockwork, it would be a mile long. Well one Christmas, I didn't think I was gonna make out so well. If I recall correctly, Mommy may have mentioned that things were a little tight on her end and I understood. We'd broken my piggy bank full of pennies to get food to eat so I imagine I put two and two together about needing money. Because we lived in a studio apartment with my grandmother, we couldn't fit an actual tree in our place so we had a miniature tree on top of our television. I stared at the tree when I went to sleep, praying that Santa received my letters! I was hopeful on Christmas Eve and when I woke up for a split second in the middle of the night, I saw shadows of boxes. But Santa sprinkled more sleepytime dust over my eyes so I fell back into a deep sleep. But when I rose that morning, there were goo gobbs of boxes with my name on it. Most of them said 'From Santa,' and when I woke up, I thought, 'See, I KNEW Mommy and Santa have a pact!! I KNEW IT! I knew he wouldn't let her down.' But how'd he get his big ol stomach through the crevice in our window anyway? (Cause we only had a slight opening in the window.) Aww, I wonder if he morphs shapes or if Mommy strong armed him into our home. To this day, I really don't believe how my Mommy was able to accomplish that. And I won't know how Christmas feels as a parent until I have children of my own. But all year round, she made sure that I never wanted for anything. And I am eternally grateful...
PRESENT:
For all of us Chroniclers in our 20s, I have a secret to share...we are babies in this thing! I always thought 2? was so wise and so mature, but being 2? is like being a kid in grown-up land. Not all the time, but sometimes! I've been experiencing and/or witnessing a few situations with people that have caused me to reflect a lot. These occurances take me back to thoughts of my childhood innocence but also my teenage idealism and insecurities. It took me a few years to understand the meaning of true friendship, the kind that strengthens, uplifts, encourages, and validates. But even with all that mushy stuff, true validation comes with self-acceptance and self-appreciation, and that comes with time, experience, and an open heart. Looking to other people (especially your own age) for acceptance is dangerous; people respond to the kind of energy you put out. So if you face your enemies or even your friends with a helpless nature, they're actually always going to respond to you like you're helpless. Not because they don't care, but simply because they're going through their own identity growth spurts and probably don't have the time or attention to deal with yours. In high school, I depended deeply on the opinions of friends. Since I was away at boarding school, that was the only thing that mattered to me. But the more I leaned on their shoulders, the more I felt they inched over so I could fall. The more I asked my peers 'Am I beautiful, am I this, am I that,' the less attractive I felt in a lot of ways. And because of that, I hated - I mean - HATED females, and it took me years to move passed that. It also took me a long time to get passed not having many adult male role models but that's a Chronicle for another day! I was very closed off for a while but those relationships, or lack there of, truly shaped how I view friendships now. I'm so grateful I experienced that then and not now. Imagine me being a Scrooge now? I know, not cute!
So anyway...I am extremely appreciative of the men and women who have changed my views of people, who have allowed and are allowing me to see the beauty of living. Those who have taken my hand and touched my heart because dog on it, you're awesome with a capital A! Those who have stood in the gaps for someone I thought would be there. Those who show me that without love and laughter, life is meaningless. I could go on and on because my life has truly been blessed through knowing you! Yes, yes you...you're not on the Chronicles for kicks!
FUTURE:
Hmmm, it's all seeming pretty cloudy honestly...which is a GREAT thing! The last time I felt like this was May 06 when I graduated. I didn't know what to expect...I just went with the flow and low and behold, after taking the most cleansing road trip ever with my cousin and best friend, I landed right into my profession/career as a writer. (I was always a writer but didn't consider myself one until someone told me I was one. SMH - lol) Lots of things are bubbling so that only means God's up to something! Now, you know what, that's awesome with a capital A! It could have been another way...Thank you all for being!
Our paths crossed for a reason...Soooooooo thankful for warmth in every sense of the word cause it could be a different way!!!!!!! Now go spread some good cheer!
Kristen Victoria
P.S. Just so you know, I found out Santa and Mommy were the same person when I decided to spend the holidays with another family member. I may have been 11 at the time and when I found out, I broke out into an argument with my cousins about how Santa just doesn't come to their home. It took me a few years to get over that! Actually I'm still a little salty now! :)
The 'Sprite Factor' Chronicles of Kris - 12/22/08
Good Morning Everyone,
The holidays are officially among us. Christmas feels a little less commercial this year – maybe because I turned off the tv and refused to go to the mall except to SELL back electronics at FYE. But more evidently, this “let’s just be together around the fire” sentiment has a lot to do with the economy falling flat on its behind, just like I did the ONE time I tried to go outside during the snow storm on Friday. Man, you know how you feel things transpire in slow motion as they are happening? Nope, that wasn’t me. Frazier was up and then she was dooown in the worst way! Everything went flying out of my hands EXCEPT for…you guessed it…my Crackberry. Geez…someone hook me up with an endorsement already.
Two Fridays ago I accepted an invitation to go out to dinner with an old friend. To give you some very brief background, it was another one of those “swing and miss” situations – he likes me, I like him, then he doesn’t act like he likes me, I follow suit, then I find out he was confused about his attraction to me, and then I just leave it alone. NEXT. You know how it goes…After catching up for a bit, he started saying some nonsense like, “I’m glad we’re still friends.” Huh? I’m very careful about giving people the privilege of being slapped with the friend title. My reply, “I didn’t know we were friends.” LOL. I wouldn’t constitute our interaction as being friends, as he couldn’t seem to get off the same “what happened, why don’t we talk” conversation. Now that I’m starting to seek understanding in my relationships with guys, I realize a lot more gets lost in translation than one would think. The obvious hints, bread crumbs, all of that does not mean a thing. “Awww, he shoulda known, couldn’t he tell?” WHOMP WHOMP! It’s all about what you say and how you act, not how you feel and what you think those feelings are projecting.
The most important thing that I took away from this exchange was how hard he was trying to convince me of the type of man he is, as he probably didn’t appreciate being pegged as a “poser,” someone who does things for meaningless show. I continually said, “You could easily be the sweetest person; I didn’t experience that side of you, and that’s ok.” I’m sure he was more disappointed with how I perceive him more than anything, and that conversation made me think of several people struggling with the same thing.
IMAGE IS NOTHING!
When you are who you are, people see that! All this “I’m tryin’ to be, I don’t want people to think…” – that’s played! If you did something great or foul, just say, “Yea I did it, and what?!?” No one is perfect. IMAGE IS NOTHING! Stop trying to be and just be. If you’re an asshole, be the best asshole you can be! If you’re a sweetie pie pie, give someone an awful toothache cause that’s who you are – a sweetie pie pie! Or if you can’t figure it out, just move away and start over…that’ll help. LOL
Hmmm, this is also coming from someone whose image pretty much matches who I am – but even with that, it’s taken me a while to be comfortable with all sides of my personality and accept myself for who I am. I have some great qualities and some not-so-great qualities. I’m a team player at times, and a spoiled brat at times. I give effortlessly, but there are still “this is MY world” moments. I listen to most people's views, but I am politically incorrect. But that’s me. Leave it or love it. And I suggest we all do the same thing!
I’m sure the you you are is better than the you you force people to know. Why? Cause it’s effortless, it’s free, it’s fun, it’s uninhibited, and most importantly, it’s human. So take off those masks, it ain’t Halloween. Ok, I’m done. Onto another thought.
Three years ago I wrote down the top 8 philosophies I live by and they still apply. Hope you enjoy :)
*Our lives are really only just beginning. So in honor of this accomplishment, I've compiled the top eight things I've learned thus far in life:
8- Don't sweat the small stuff. You'll notice no one else is getting all bent out of shape but you. So breathe easy and realize it's just not that serious.
7- If drama is simply unavoidable, keep your head up, eyes open and mouth shut and retreat back to your camp. You can't control those around you but you can control how you react.
6- In relationships, don't assume a position you don't have.
5- Emotions override labels.
4- God gives us goals & dreams so that we can birth these visions into reality.
3- In order to remain happy, you must be protective of your personal space. MEANING USE LESS OF YOUR TIME WITH USELESS PEOPLE.
2- Don't become upset because other people lack the gift that God specifically gave to you.
1- There is great strength in vulnerability.
And in honor of Michael Jackson, who I heard was very ill – let’s hold a candle in the air for him -here’s one of my favorite MJ quotes:“When I think of courage, I think of the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz. He was always running away from danger. He often cried and shook with fear. But he was also sharing his real feelings with those he loved, even though he didn’t always like those feelings. That takes real courage, the courage to be intimate. Expressing your feelings is not the same as falling apart in front of someone else- it’s being accepting and true to your heart, whatever it may say. When you have the courage to be intimate, you know who you are, and you’re willing to let others see that. It’s scary, because you feel so vulnerable, so open to rejection. But without self-acceptance, the other kind of courage, the kind heroes show in movies, seems hollow. In spite of the risks, the courage to be honest and intimate opens the way to self-discovery. It offers what we all want, the promise of love. –Michael Jackson
XOXO,
Kristen Victoria
The holidays are officially among us. Christmas feels a little less commercial this year – maybe because I turned off the tv and refused to go to the mall except to SELL back electronics at FYE. But more evidently, this “let’s just be together around the fire” sentiment has a lot to do with the economy falling flat on its behind, just like I did the ONE time I tried to go outside during the snow storm on Friday. Man, you know how you feel things transpire in slow motion as they are happening? Nope, that wasn’t me. Frazier was up and then she was dooown in the worst way! Everything went flying out of my hands EXCEPT for…you guessed it…my Crackberry. Geez…someone hook me up with an endorsement already.
Two Fridays ago I accepted an invitation to go out to dinner with an old friend. To give you some very brief background, it was another one of those “swing and miss” situations – he likes me, I like him, then he doesn’t act like he likes me, I follow suit, then I find out he was confused about his attraction to me, and then I just leave it alone. NEXT. You know how it goes…After catching up for a bit, he started saying some nonsense like, “I’m glad we’re still friends.” Huh? I’m very careful about giving people the privilege of being slapped with the friend title. My reply, “I didn’t know we were friends.” LOL. I wouldn’t constitute our interaction as being friends, as he couldn’t seem to get off the same “what happened, why don’t we talk” conversation. Now that I’m starting to seek understanding in my relationships with guys, I realize a lot more gets lost in translation than one would think. The obvious hints, bread crumbs, all of that does not mean a thing. “Awww, he shoulda known, couldn’t he tell?” WHOMP WHOMP! It’s all about what you say and how you act, not how you feel and what you think those feelings are projecting.
The most important thing that I took away from this exchange was how hard he was trying to convince me of the type of man he is, as he probably didn’t appreciate being pegged as a “poser,” someone who does things for meaningless show. I continually said, “You could easily be the sweetest person; I didn’t experience that side of you, and that’s ok.” I’m sure he was more disappointed with how I perceive him more than anything, and that conversation made me think of several people struggling with the same thing.
IMAGE IS NOTHING!
When you are who you are, people see that! All this “I’m tryin’ to be, I don’t want people to think…” – that’s played! If you did something great or foul, just say, “Yea I did it, and what?!?” No one is perfect. IMAGE IS NOTHING! Stop trying to be and just be. If you’re an asshole, be the best asshole you can be! If you’re a sweetie pie pie, give someone an awful toothache cause that’s who you are – a sweetie pie pie! Or if you can’t figure it out, just move away and start over…that’ll help. LOL
Hmmm, this is also coming from someone whose image pretty much matches who I am – but even with that, it’s taken me a while to be comfortable with all sides of my personality and accept myself for who I am. I have some great qualities and some not-so-great qualities. I’m a team player at times, and a spoiled brat at times. I give effortlessly, but there are still “this is MY world” moments. I listen to most people's views, but I am politically incorrect. But that’s me. Leave it or love it. And I suggest we all do the same thing!
I’m sure the you you are is better than the you you force people to know. Why? Cause it’s effortless, it’s free, it’s fun, it’s uninhibited, and most importantly, it’s human. So take off those masks, it ain’t Halloween. Ok, I’m done. Onto another thought.
Three years ago I wrote down the top 8 philosophies I live by and they still apply. Hope you enjoy :)
*Our lives are really only just beginning. So in honor of this accomplishment, I've compiled the top eight things I've learned thus far in life:
8- Don't sweat the small stuff. You'll notice no one else is getting all bent out of shape but you. So breathe easy and realize it's just not that serious.
7- If drama is simply unavoidable, keep your head up, eyes open and mouth shut and retreat back to your camp. You can't control those around you but you can control how you react.
6- In relationships, don't assume a position you don't have.
5- Emotions override labels.
4- God gives us goals & dreams so that we can birth these visions into reality.
3- In order to remain happy, you must be protective of your personal space. MEANING USE LESS OF YOUR TIME WITH USELESS PEOPLE.
2- Don't become upset because other people lack the gift that God specifically gave to you.
1- There is great strength in vulnerability.
And in honor of Michael Jackson, who I heard was very ill – let’s hold a candle in the air for him -here’s one of my favorite MJ quotes:“When I think of courage, I think of the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz. He was always running away from danger. He often cried and shook with fear. But he was also sharing his real feelings with those he loved, even though he didn’t always like those feelings. That takes real courage, the courage to be intimate. Expressing your feelings is not the same as falling apart in front of someone else- it’s being accepting and true to your heart, whatever it may say. When you have the courage to be intimate, you know who you are, and you’re willing to let others see that. It’s scary, because you feel so vulnerable, so open to rejection. But without self-acceptance, the other kind of courage, the kind heroes show in movies, seems hollow. In spite of the risks, the courage to be honest and intimate opens the way to self-discovery. It offers what we all want, the promise of love. –Michael Jackson
XOXO,
Kristen Victoria
The '90s Babies' Chronicles of Kris - 12/08/08
There's a new phenomenon around town and it's here to stay. Last night I was flipping through the cable stations and I stopped on a public access channel. What did I see? Children with slicked down sideburns, multi-colored hair tracks, and sweat glistened foreheads all cheesing as the camera zoomed by. And the dj yelled, '90s babies, make some muthalovin noise!' My palm hit my mouth. What the hell? 90s? 90s?!? What does he mean by that? These kids are...COMING OF AGE!
90s babies can actually party at teen clubs. And better yet, folks born in 1990 are now 18 years old which means they can actually hit certain venues. Oh man. That means one thing - I am getting old! And crack monkey music is gonna win over more clubs now than ever. In 2011, will I have to REQUEST BBD's Poison as opposed to just expecting it to come on at every flippin party? Worse (not better yet), just think about this - what is the 90s kids equivalent to Poison? Aww man that's a sad question to even consider answering. I assume it's a Jay-Z song...I guess it wouldn't be so bad if it's Jay-Z. Hmmm...I'm just sayin! That snap craze caught hold of them and that goodness awful Soulja Boy. Was that a movement? Would we consider that a bonafide dance to remember years from now. Unfortunately...I'd have to say yes...especially when you've got old people, random celebs, and people in the state of Kentucky doing the Yuuuuhh! My thought - ugggggh!I feel sorry for 90s babies. They'll never know good music. They've been trained to like filth...hot garbage! They'll never know they deserve more...oh their precious ears. Lol.
But is that how 70s babies feel about 80s babies music? Cause I am literally obsessed with 80s babies music and no one can tell me nothin! Troop, Hi-Five, Potrait, After 7, Keith Washington, Ill Al Scratch, Shanice, the Uptown movement - all day er'day! I am trapped in the last era of decent music. So we've got a few more years of partying before the 90s babies really trespass but I know one thing - their awful tunes aren't gonna run me outta the club...without a dance fight! You think the Kid N Play mixed with the MC Hammer can sweep them off the floor?!? We'll find out soon enough...
Rehearsing my 8 count that'll put these kids to shame,
Kris
90s babies can actually party at teen clubs. And better yet, folks born in 1990 are now 18 years old which means they can actually hit certain venues. Oh man. That means one thing - I am getting old! And crack monkey music is gonna win over more clubs now than ever. In 2011, will I have to REQUEST BBD's Poison as opposed to just expecting it to come on at every flippin party? Worse (not better yet), just think about this - what is the 90s kids equivalent to Poison? Aww man that's a sad question to even consider answering. I assume it's a Jay-Z song...I guess it wouldn't be so bad if it's Jay-Z. Hmmm...I'm just sayin! That snap craze caught hold of them and that goodness awful Soulja Boy. Was that a movement? Would we consider that a bonafide dance to remember years from now. Unfortunately...I'd have to say yes...especially when you've got old people, random celebs, and people in the state of Kentucky doing the Yuuuuhh! My thought - ugggggh!I feel sorry for 90s babies. They'll never know good music. They've been trained to like filth...hot garbage! They'll never know they deserve more...oh their precious ears. Lol.
But is that how 70s babies feel about 80s babies music? Cause I am literally obsessed with 80s babies music and no one can tell me nothin! Troop, Hi-Five, Potrait, After 7, Keith Washington, Ill Al Scratch, Shanice, the Uptown movement - all day er'day! I am trapped in the last era of decent music. So we've got a few more years of partying before the 90s babies really trespass but I know one thing - their awful tunes aren't gonna run me outta the club...without a dance fight! You think the Kid N Play mixed with the MC Hammer can sweep them off the floor?!? We'll find out soon enough...
Rehearsing my 8 count that'll put these kids to shame,
Kris
The 'No Time for Backtracking' Chronicles of Kris - 12/06/08
Hey Everyone,
I'm just sitting down from an early Saturday morning of cleaning. It's been a very slow, interesting week. And if one thing is true it's this - Idle time makes for idle minds and we can't let that happen...ahem, I can't afford for that to happen! The cold weather and uneasy societal times start to make me consider really silly things - like accepting calls I shouldn't and actually toying with the idea of allowing old team members back onto the court, allowing myself to watch goo-gobs of tv, and also letting myself starve to death because I'm too lazy to hit the Pathmark that's actually a block away. (I'm heading to the grocery store shortly...I promise!) But alas, I break out my "HELL NO" sword and start chopping these ideas down. I've had a great, progressive year...bad ideas, get thee behind me! LOL
These past few days droaned on because Uncle Sam (where'd we get the name Uncle Sam anyway) has caught hold of the television industry too. Maybe this was naive of me, but I definitely didn't think this whole economic fallout would affect networks THAT much, including my dear old Viacom, because television is produced every day. But now that I think of it, they are basically "skinning the excess fat" and making cuts to the alternative channels and online components. Ho hum...and right after a holiday and into another...it's a conspiracy!
Thursday morning I woke up and ripped open all of my bills. Mortgage, PSEG, ATT, Cablevision, Water. I charted every single expense per usual but this time around, I think I did a variation of the old Southern church lady's Hallelujah dance. I ran to my mailbox, thanking God for the ability to pay my bills. I do this usually but probably without all the extra zest! It's time to be el cheapo/la cheapa in this piece but I am happy that through it all, my Chroniclers remain positive and focused! Cheers to you all. I've spoken to a few of you about "uping the ante" and hustling even harder than we already do. These times call for CREATIVE measures - i.e. stepping past our entrepreneurial fears and brainstorming ways of continuing to create positive contacts/relationships, and thinking of alternate ways of creating income. Now this will take extra time and energy on our parts but what's a little elbow grease gonna hurt? ESPECIALLY during this season when we already want to hibernate at 4pm because it's dark outside. Don't you hate that?
So after one pretty lazy week filled with moments of worry and anticipation, I'm standing up on my bed and putting on my cape! "IT'S TIME TO MAKE SOME DOLLARS AND JAZZIDREAMER IT OUT!" Let's bust down some doors instead of closing ourselves off behind them. This is the time we need to come out full force...cause the battle's just begun!
Autobots Roll Out,
Kristen Victoria
I'm just sitting down from an early Saturday morning of cleaning. It's been a very slow, interesting week. And if one thing is true it's this - Idle time makes for idle minds and we can't let that happen...ahem, I can't afford for that to happen! The cold weather and uneasy societal times start to make me consider really silly things - like accepting calls I shouldn't and actually toying with the idea of allowing old team members back onto the court, allowing myself to watch goo-gobs of tv, and also letting myself starve to death because I'm too lazy to hit the Pathmark that's actually a block away. (I'm heading to the grocery store shortly...I promise!) But alas, I break out my "HELL NO" sword and start chopping these ideas down. I've had a great, progressive year...bad ideas, get thee behind me! LOL
These past few days droaned on because Uncle Sam (where'd we get the name Uncle Sam anyway) has caught hold of the television industry too. Maybe this was naive of me, but I definitely didn't think this whole economic fallout would affect networks THAT much, including my dear old Viacom, because television is produced every day. But now that I think of it, they are basically "skinning the excess fat" and making cuts to the alternative channels and online components. Ho hum...and right after a holiday and into another...it's a conspiracy!
Thursday morning I woke up and ripped open all of my bills. Mortgage, PSEG, ATT, Cablevision, Water. I charted every single expense per usual but this time around, I think I did a variation of the old Southern church lady's Hallelujah dance. I ran to my mailbox, thanking God for the ability to pay my bills. I do this usually but probably without all the extra zest! It's time to be el cheapo/la cheapa in this piece but I am happy that through it all, my Chroniclers remain positive and focused! Cheers to you all. I've spoken to a few of you about "uping the ante" and hustling even harder than we already do. These times call for CREATIVE measures - i.e. stepping past our entrepreneurial fears and brainstorming ways of continuing to create positive contacts/relationships, and thinking of alternate ways of creating income. Now this will take extra time and energy on our parts but what's a little elbow grease gonna hurt? ESPECIALLY during this season when we already want to hibernate at 4pm because it's dark outside. Don't you hate that?
So after one pretty lazy week filled with moments of worry and anticipation, I'm standing up on my bed and putting on my cape! "IT'S TIME TO MAKE SOME DOLLARS AND JAZZIDREAMER IT OUT!" Let's bust down some doors instead of closing ourselves off behind them. This is the time we need to come out full force...cause the battle's just begun!
Autobots Roll Out,
Kristen Victoria
The "What's the Hold Up" Chronicles of Kris - 11/18/08
The winter coat, hat, and gloves have resurfaced. I hustled to work this morning, and ducked around the office corridors. Oooh, goody! It's 9:25 and no one's here. I whipped out 500 pages of bright peach paper from my bag to begin my family reunion photocopies. Do you get written up for making bulk copies at an organization? Muahaha, Kris won't find out because I'm here before anyone else, all by my lonesome! I rub my hands together and giggle with glee as I see the reunion emblem on each page and then HALT! What happened? Another young lady walks into the printing booth. "I'm trying to print something." I start stammering, "Uh well...it might be a while." She sits down next to the printer. Oh no, am I gonna get written up for making personal photocopies? I quickly take the 100 sheets I have printed and move into another copy area. 50 copies later, she shows up again. "Oh, the other printer wasn't working so I figured I'd try this one." I tell her swiftly to come back in five minutes. But because I felt guilty, I stopped my printing half way through.
Ok, so maybe I'll have to print 10 pages at a time throughout the day to not look suspicious. But as soon as I got a chance, I didn't make 10 - I made 40. Then HALT! A big red light flashes on the copy beast. There's a paper jam. The copier asks me to open one door, then another door, and then oh my goodness, the whole copier is wide open. There are peach pages flying out of the crevices of the copier. Oh gosh, now I'm really caught. I snatch the pages out and start closing the doors, but there's this big lever that won't cooperate. I refuse to run away. I'm not the peach paper copy thief! I drop the papers, and then wipe my brow and finally slam the door shut. I don't run but I look around and walk quietly back into my office.
So now, I'm gonna have to try another freakin copy monster cause I'm getting these family reunion envelopes stuffed today! I could have just waited to print until the end of the day but I want my peach printed pages now! Now I say!!!
I'm really excited, can't you tell? I'm excited because in seven days, I'll be a whopping 2-?. Oh lawd! And in ten days, the roof's gonna fly off of Taj Lounge just like it did in House Party cause we're bringing back (what I consider) the classics!!! Come one and come all, don't be wack and stand on the wall. Time to shake off all that turkey and stuffing you gobbled down! Hope you're having a fantasic week!!! Hugs and kisses all around.
XOXO,
Kris
Ok, so maybe I'll have to print 10 pages at a time throughout the day to not look suspicious. But as soon as I got a chance, I didn't make 10 - I made 40. Then HALT! A big red light flashes on the copy beast. There's a paper jam. The copier asks me to open one door, then another door, and then oh my goodness, the whole copier is wide open. There are peach pages flying out of the crevices of the copier. Oh gosh, now I'm really caught. I snatch the pages out and start closing the doors, but there's this big lever that won't cooperate. I refuse to run away. I'm not the peach paper copy thief! I drop the papers, and then wipe my brow and finally slam the door shut. I don't run but I look around and walk quietly back into my office.
So now, I'm gonna have to try another freakin copy monster cause I'm getting these family reunion envelopes stuffed today! I could have just waited to print until the end of the day but I want my peach printed pages now! Now I say!!!
I'm really excited, can't you tell? I'm excited because in seven days, I'll be a whopping 2-?. Oh lawd! And in ten days, the roof's gonna fly off of Taj Lounge just like it did in House Party cause we're bringing back (what I consider) the classics!!! Come one and come all, don't be wack and stand on the wall. Time to shake off all that turkey and stuffing you gobbled down! Hope you're having a fantasic week!!! Hugs and kisses all around.
XOXO,
Kris
The 'Big Momma's House' Chronicles of Kris - 11/17/08
Last Friday my best friend and I went out to JE's Restaurant, a popular soul food spot in the heart of Newark, NJ. I've developed a bit of a routine, spotting the same people or arriving during the shift of a nice old lady. Her purple-silvery hair shimmers everytime she says,'Good Morning.' But this day was a little different. A new lady was waiting on us. Well not new around those parts but new for me. She had to be 6 foot 5 and pretty sizable, like football player sizable. She put her hand on her hip while writing down our orders but she seemed fairly calm, and brought our meals quickly.
When our food came out, my buscuits weren't hot so I asked her for buscuits 'right out of the oven.' Well, you would have thought I cursed her grandkids. Her lip turned up, she sighed...Fe Fi Fo Fum! This woman storms off. Sabreen says, 'Uh huh, she's gonna spit in your food. I reply, 'I only asked for ONE thing! I wasn't being unreasonable.' Sabreen retorts,'...yet.' Ok, so maybe I do make a few requests when I am dining but Iam not that bad. I wasn't rude when I asked! She proceeded to slam two hot biscuits on my table. And instead of feeling satisfied with my meal, I felt I had been reprimanded. Sabreen continues, 'That was table talk for f you!' LOL, yes clearly!
That football player lady and I have two things in common. We don't like running back and forth (although I was hardly requesting for her to do as such). I really hand it to the good waiters and waitresses at my favorite diner Top's Diner because those folks hustle! I don't think I have the temperment for waiting...and if I did ever wait, I'd give you two requests and after that, you're gonna have to stop, think, and write 'em all down on a napkin and wave it in the air so that I can bring everything in one fell swoop. Got it?
So yeah, that lady scared the crap outta me...and her voice got deeper! Aaah. I'm not sure if she thinks she runs the joint but she'll see me again ordering Fish and Grits. Hopefully I won't have to box her ears, or hopefully she won't box mine! I know one thing, I'll have to request my lady with the purple-silvery shimmers.
XO
Kris
When our food came out, my buscuits weren't hot so I asked her for buscuits 'right out of the oven.' Well, you would have thought I cursed her grandkids. Her lip turned up, she sighed...Fe Fi Fo Fum! This woman storms off. Sabreen says, 'Uh huh, she's gonna spit in your food. I reply, 'I only asked for ONE thing! I wasn't being unreasonable.' Sabreen retorts,'...yet.' Ok, so maybe I do make a few requests when I am dining but Iam not that bad. I wasn't rude when I asked! She proceeded to slam two hot biscuits on my table. And instead of feeling satisfied with my meal, I felt I had been reprimanded. Sabreen continues, 'That was table talk for f you!' LOL, yes clearly!
That football player lady and I have two things in common. We don't like running back and forth (although I was hardly requesting for her to do as such). I really hand it to the good waiters and waitresses at my favorite diner Top's Diner because those folks hustle! I don't think I have the temperment for waiting...and if I did ever wait, I'd give you two requests and after that, you're gonna have to stop, think, and write 'em all down on a napkin and wave it in the air so that I can bring everything in one fell swoop. Got it?
So yeah, that lady scared the crap outta me...and her voice got deeper! Aaah. I'm not sure if she thinks she runs the joint but she'll see me again ordering Fish and Grits. Hopefully I won't have to box her ears, or hopefully she won't box mine! I know one thing, I'll have to request my lady with the purple-silvery shimmers.
XO
Kris
The "Open Letter to Obama" Chronicles of Kris - 11/05/08
Please read this when you get a moment!
Red, Black, Green, White, Blue...we'll color us a rainbow,
Kristen Victoria
***
Nov. 5, 2008
Dear Brother Obama,
You have no idea, really, of how profound this moment is for us. Us being the black people of the Southern United States. You think you know, because you are thoughtful, and you have studied our history. But seeing you deliver the torch so many others before you carried, year after year, decade after decade, century after century, only to be struck down before igniting the flame of justice and of law, is almost more than the heart can bear. And yet, this observation is not intended to burden you, for you are of a different time, and, indeed, because of all the relay runners before you, North America is a different place. It is really only to say: Well done. We knew, through all the generations, that you were with us, in us, the best of the spirit of Africa and of the Americas. Knowing this, that you would actually appear, someday, was part of our strength. Seeing you take your rightful place, based solely on your wisdom, stamina and character, is a balm for the weary warriors of hope, previously only sung about.
I would advise you to remember that you did not create the disaster that the world is experiencing, and you alone are not responsible for bringing the world back to balance. A primary responsibility that you do have, however, is to cultivate happiness in your own life. To make a schedule that permits sufficient time of rest and play with your gorgeous wife and lovely daughters. And so on. One gathers that your family is large. We are used to seeing men in the White House soon become juiceless and as white-haired as the building; we notice their wives and children looking strained and stressed. They soon have smiles so lacking in joy that they remind us of scissors. This is no way to lead. Nor does your family deserve this fate. One way of thinking about all this is: It is so bad now that there is no excuse not to relax. From your happy, relaxed state, you can model real success, which is all that so many people in the world really want. They may buy endless cars and houses and furs and gobble up all the attention and space they can manage, or barely manage, but this is because it is not yet clear to them that success is truly an inside job. That it is within the reach of almost everyone.
I would further advise you not to take on other people's enemies. Most damage that others do to us is out of fear, humiliation and pain. Those feelings occur in all of us, not just in those of us who profess a certain religious or racial devotion. We must learn actually not to have enemies, but only confused adversaries who are ourselves in disguise. It is understood by all that you are commander in chief of the United States and are sworn to protect our beloved country; this we understand, completely. However, as my mother used to say, quoting a Bible with which I often fought, "hate the sin, but love the sinner." There must be no more crushing of whole communities, no more torture, no more dehumanizing as a means of ruling a people's spirit. This has already happened to people of color, poor people, women, children. We see where this leads, where it has led.
A good model of how to "work with the enemy" internally is presented by the Dalai Lama, in his endless caretaking of his soul as he confronts the Chinese government that invaded Tibet. Because, finally, it is the soul that must be preserved, if one is to remain a credible leader. All else might be lost; but when the soul dies, the connection to earth, to peoples, to animals, to rivers, to mountain ranges, purple and majestic, also dies. And your smile, with which we watch you do gracious battle with unjust characterizations, distortions and lies, is that expression of healthy self-worth, spirit and soul, that, kept happy and free and relaxed, can find an answering smile in all of us, lighting our way, and brightening the world.We are the ones we have been waiting for.
In Peace and Joy,
Alice Walker
Red, Black, Green, White, Blue...we'll color us a rainbow,
Kristen Victoria
***
Nov. 5, 2008
Dear Brother Obama,
You have no idea, really, of how profound this moment is for us. Us being the black people of the Southern United States. You think you know, because you are thoughtful, and you have studied our history. But seeing you deliver the torch so many others before you carried, year after year, decade after decade, century after century, only to be struck down before igniting the flame of justice and of law, is almost more than the heart can bear. And yet, this observation is not intended to burden you, for you are of a different time, and, indeed, because of all the relay runners before you, North America is a different place. It is really only to say: Well done. We knew, through all the generations, that you were with us, in us, the best of the spirit of Africa and of the Americas. Knowing this, that you would actually appear, someday, was part of our strength. Seeing you take your rightful place, based solely on your wisdom, stamina and character, is a balm for the weary warriors of hope, previously only sung about.
I would advise you to remember that you did not create the disaster that the world is experiencing, and you alone are not responsible for bringing the world back to balance. A primary responsibility that you do have, however, is to cultivate happiness in your own life. To make a schedule that permits sufficient time of rest and play with your gorgeous wife and lovely daughters. And so on. One gathers that your family is large. We are used to seeing men in the White House soon become juiceless and as white-haired as the building; we notice their wives and children looking strained and stressed. They soon have smiles so lacking in joy that they remind us of scissors. This is no way to lead. Nor does your family deserve this fate. One way of thinking about all this is: It is so bad now that there is no excuse not to relax. From your happy, relaxed state, you can model real success, which is all that so many people in the world really want. They may buy endless cars and houses and furs and gobble up all the attention and space they can manage, or barely manage, but this is because it is not yet clear to them that success is truly an inside job. That it is within the reach of almost everyone.
I would further advise you not to take on other people's enemies. Most damage that others do to us is out of fear, humiliation and pain. Those feelings occur in all of us, not just in those of us who profess a certain religious or racial devotion. We must learn actually not to have enemies, but only confused adversaries who are ourselves in disguise. It is understood by all that you are commander in chief of the United States and are sworn to protect our beloved country; this we understand, completely. However, as my mother used to say, quoting a Bible with which I often fought, "hate the sin, but love the sinner." There must be no more crushing of whole communities, no more torture, no more dehumanizing as a means of ruling a people's spirit. This has already happened to people of color, poor people, women, children. We see where this leads, where it has led.
A good model of how to "work with the enemy" internally is presented by the Dalai Lama, in his endless caretaking of his soul as he confronts the Chinese government that invaded Tibet. Because, finally, it is the soul that must be preserved, if one is to remain a credible leader. All else might be lost; but when the soul dies, the connection to earth, to peoples, to animals, to rivers, to mountain ranges, purple and majestic, also dies. And your smile, with which we watch you do gracious battle with unjust characterizations, distortions and lies, is that expression of healthy self-worth, spirit and soul, that, kept happy and free and relaxed, can find an answering smile in all of us, lighting our way, and brightening the world.We are the ones we have been waiting for.
In Peace and Joy,
Alice Walker
The “Pie in the Sky” Chronicles of Kris – 10/20/08
Did we know those closest to us in another life? I’ve always envisioned playing Kickball with my best friend, and then saying “See You Later” when it’s time to go to our selected parents. LOL I’ve had that same thought since I was about six, and I guess I’ll never really know…but I do think we’re all linked before being connected in the flesh.
My best friend’s name is Sabreen. Her name means patience. One thing’s for sure. I am not Sabreen. LOL I am one of the most impatient people you will ever meet. That’s gonna get me in trouble, and I am trying to be more Sabreen (patient) but I’m not sure if that’s in my chemical makeup. There’ve been plenty of times when I’ve thought, “I should have been slapped for that comment.” But I just can’t help myself! I can’t force myself to be patient. I guess that’s why she’s in my life – to add more thought bubbles before I crash and burn.
She’s the one who will literally pull me by that coat tails and say, “Ok, do you think that’s a smooth move? Do you REALLY think you should say that?” And I’ll be yelling, “YEA!” and she’ll say, “Um no, get back here!” Or she might just say, “Go for the Gusto!” and no matter what the decision, she’s either be cheering me on or there to be a listening ear instead of hastily saying, “I told you so!”
In that way, I admire Sabreen. I do analyze before making a move but more often than not, my decisions come from a combination of my heart and mind. Dog on it, I wish I could be more patient. Perfect example – my 8th birthday at Sports Park. All of my pee-wee friends and I were golfing and Sabreen was ever so strategically trying to carefully swing her club so that her ball would go in the hole. What did I do? I was just swinging that bad boy all around until eventually, I drug the ball with my club and got the sucker in the hole. LOL Our personality traits lend for different results in the smallest and most important decisions of our lives.
I would be willing to bet while we were eating pie in the sky, Sabreen learned how to deal with all types of people just from observing, while I was too busy playing Kickball and eating our dog on pie to notice anyone else was around. LOL Geez… I’ll learn to have patience one day…probably not today!
Still learning the dance to Beyonce’s Single Ladies video,
Kris
My best friend’s name is Sabreen. Her name means patience. One thing’s for sure. I am not Sabreen. LOL I am one of the most impatient people you will ever meet. That’s gonna get me in trouble, and I am trying to be more Sabreen (patient) but I’m not sure if that’s in my chemical makeup. There’ve been plenty of times when I’ve thought, “I should have been slapped for that comment.” But I just can’t help myself! I can’t force myself to be patient. I guess that’s why she’s in my life – to add more thought bubbles before I crash and burn.
She’s the one who will literally pull me by that coat tails and say, “Ok, do you think that’s a smooth move? Do you REALLY think you should say that?” And I’ll be yelling, “YEA!” and she’ll say, “Um no, get back here!” Or she might just say, “Go for the Gusto!” and no matter what the decision, she’s either be cheering me on or there to be a listening ear instead of hastily saying, “I told you so!”
In that way, I admire Sabreen. I do analyze before making a move but more often than not, my decisions come from a combination of my heart and mind. Dog on it, I wish I could be more patient. Perfect example – my 8th birthday at Sports Park. All of my pee-wee friends and I were golfing and Sabreen was ever so strategically trying to carefully swing her club so that her ball would go in the hole. What did I do? I was just swinging that bad boy all around until eventually, I drug the ball with my club and got the sucker in the hole. LOL Our personality traits lend for different results in the smallest and most important decisions of our lives.
I would be willing to bet while we were eating pie in the sky, Sabreen learned how to deal with all types of people just from observing, while I was too busy playing Kickball and eating our dog on pie to notice anyone else was around. LOL Geez… I’ll learn to have patience one day…probably not today!
Still learning the dance to Beyonce’s Single Ladies video,
Kris
The 'Stretch Out on Faith and Try HIM' Chronicles of Kris - 10/07/08
You know what ya'll,
It's time to just give it all over to God and be done with it cause He got your back...waaaay back and front. And that's all I gotta say! I'm finished. THE END. Sike nah.
Hi Family,
So I don't want to preach but goodness, I just can't describe how I feel. Ok, so last week I mentioned freelancing and I'm gonna talk about it again because it's obviously one of the top things on my mind! In the last chronicle, I spoke about freelancing keeping me on my grind. But I'll tell you another thing it does. It makes me give things over. It forces me to say, 'God, you know what I want. You know what I need. So what more can I say...nothing. Cause any way you bless me, you're gonna bless me real good and there's no need to worry.' However, we're all human so there's always a smidge of doubt going, 'Oh lawd, I'm about to step out and I don't know what I'm gonna land in or climb up or bust my ass doing.' BUT...seriously, the battle isn't ours.
Stretch out on faith and let the miracle happen. How do we do that? By really reaching for what we want. Getting rid of the excess (fat). If whatever we're doing is getting us further away from the goal, get thee behind! Lol That could be anything - physical, mental, spiritual, emotional - that might even be a few past demons you gotta kick around like Chun Li in Street Fighter 2 - but please try it! Throw them dukes up and get to fighting cause we don't have time for the okie doke, the ol shuck and jive if you will. We can't try to love, we have to love, we can't attempt to dream, we gotta dare to dream, plan, and do. That also includes them egos and those holier than thous and that haterade...pour it out (or get rid of those with it).
I'm so thankful because this is nothing new for me but this might be new for some, but it's never too late to start over. Failing (or feeling like you may have failed) is actually a set up for success - I personally think you have to f*#@ up real bad to know ok, I have to try another approach. And besides, it's better than being mediocre or in the middle. You gotta take a dive to get in the water - the whole idea is making sure you don't drown although you might have to choke and get the heimlich, it's not over til your dead and blue in the face and last time I checked, none of us are blue. (Ok. I might have gone a little too far with that one but I'm gonna bring it back.) I share my stories every week not to brag but to consistently testify. To be in your ears like bzzzzz, we're works in progress....So, let me move on to the story.I had lunch with an old old friend who was asking me, 'Why are you roaming around the city?' My response - 'I'm not roaming. I'm plotting. I have two meetings today, not sure what's gonna happen, but that's the fun of it. Something ALWAYS moves. I don't know what I'm doing next week and you know what, I like it!!!' Today I went to Viacom to visit Nickelodeon and BET International. All great. I walked out feeling excited.
I'm not sure what will come of my exchanges but I know it meant something. Then after the meeting, I check my phone and a producer who I don't know asks me to call him. I call and he asks, 'Are you a fan of Making the Band?' I exclaim, 'I KNOW THAT SHOW LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND!!! I'M ALL OVER IT!' 'Ok, send me your samples cause I'm producing the MTB special for next week.' And I'm finished, ladies and gentleman. Yoooo... At this point, I don't think there's a month I'm not jumping around in the middle of Manhattan. It just is. (And mind you, people are staring at me on the bus because I'm smiling really hard at the phone.) So with that said, WATCH THE MAKING THE BAND 4 SPECIAL NEXT TUESDAY AT 9PM ON MTV. Hopefully they will run the credits and as Diddy would say, 'Take that, Take that.'
If you live to love, you’ll love to live. Mark 5:36 – “Be Not Afraid, Only Believe.” Here's to unlimited possibilities cause they're out there floating in the sky, waiting for us to grab hold. They're bigger than we could ever imagine. And there's so much to discover. Lastly, there's no bailout bill in life. Don't be McCained! Register to Vote.
JazziDreamin and Believin and Holding the *Insert Your Name Here* flag high,
Kristen Victoria
It's time to just give it all over to God and be done with it cause He got your back...waaaay back and front. And that's all I gotta say! I'm finished. THE END. Sike nah.
Hi Family,
So I don't want to preach but goodness, I just can't describe how I feel. Ok, so last week I mentioned freelancing and I'm gonna talk about it again because it's obviously one of the top things on my mind! In the last chronicle, I spoke about freelancing keeping me on my grind. But I'll tell you another thing it does. It makes me give things over. It forces me to say, 'God, you know what I want. You know what I need. So what more can I say...nothing. Cause any way you bless me, you're gonna bless me real good and there's no need to worry.' However, we're all human so there's always a smidge of doubt going, 'Oh lawd, I'm about to step out and I don't know what I'm gonna land in or climb up or bust my ass doing.' BUT...seriously, the battle isn't ours.
Stretch out on faith and let the miracle happen. How do we do that? By really reaching for what we want. Getting rid of the excess (fat). If whatever we're doing is getting us further away from the goal, get thee behind! Lol That could be anything - physical, mental, spiritual, emotional - that might even be a few past demons you gotta kick around like Chun Li in Street Fighter 2 - but please try it! Throw them dukes up and get to fighting cause we don't have time for the okie doke, the ol shuck and jive if you will. We can't try to love, we have to love, we can't attempt to dream, we gotta dare to dream, plan, and do. That also includes them egos and those holier than thous and that haterade...pour it out (or get rid of those with it).
I'm so thankful because this is nothing new for me but this might be new for some, but it's never too late to start over. Failing (or feeling like you may have failed) is actually a set up for success - I personally think you have to f*#@ up real bad to know ok, I have to try another approach. And besides, it's better than being mediocre or in the middle. You gotta take a dive to get in the water - the whole idea is making sure you don't drown although you might have to choke and get the heimlich, it's not over til your dead and blue in the face and last time I checked, none of us are blue. (Ok. I might have gone a little too far with that one but I'm gonna bring it back.) I share my stories every week not to brag but to consistently testify. To be in your ears like bzzzzz, we're works in progress....So, let me move on to the story.I had lunch with an old old friend who was asking me, 'Why are you roaming around the city?' My response - 'I'm not roaming. I'm plotting. I have two meetings today, not sure what's gonna happen, but that's the fun of it. Something ALWAYS moves. I don't know what I'm doing next week and you know what, I like it!!!' Today I went to Viacom to visit Nickelodeon and BET International. All great. I walked out feeling excited.
I'm not sure what will come of my exchanges but I know it meant something. Then after the meeting, I check my phone and a producer who I don't know asks me to call him. I call and he asks, 'Are you a fan of Making the Band?' I exclaim, 'I KNOW THAT SHOW LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND!!! I'M ALL OVER IT!' 'Ok, send me your samples cause I'm producing the MTB special for next week.' And I'm finished, ladies and gentleman. Yoooo... At this point, I don't think there's a month I'm not jumping around in the middle of Manhattan. It just is. (And mind you, people are staring at me on the bus because I'm smiling really hard at the phone.) So with that said, WATCH THE MAKING THE BAND 4 SPECIAL NEXT TUESDAY AT 9PM ON MTV. Hopefully they will run the credits and as Diddy would say, 'Take that, Take that.'
If you live to love, you’ll love to live. Mark 5:36 – “Be Not Afraid, Only Believe.” Here's to unlimited possibilities cause they're out there floating in the sky, waiting for us to grab hold. They're bigger than we could ever imagine. And there's so much to discover. Lastly, there's no bailout bill in life. Don't be McCained! Register to Vote.
JazziDreamin and Believin and Holding the *Insert Your Name Here* flag high,
Kristen Victoria
The "Cop and Blow" Chronicles of Kris - 08/31/08
Whatttttt upppp (in my best Martin voice)! Greetings from Detroit, Michigan. This is the last stop of my tour before I go back into the office on Tuesday. There's so much wide open space; it's astounding. I'm currently sitting on a deck overlooking a damn golf course. What the heck. It's BEAUTIFUL out here. It might take me a minute to readjust to all the buildings and such once I return home but I do wanna see my peeps.
Since I've been here, my cousin J and I have discussed the topic of dating. I told him in the last two months, I've had to completely wipe out the stable and start anew. The stable, the roster if you will, was just acting up and I can't whine and complain til the cows come home. I gotta recruit a whole other set of players cause ya'lls hitting everything BUT net! Next!!!
J went on to explain the 'cop and blow' theory, which goes a little something like... sometimes you're coppin' folks and ringing 'em in, other times you have to blow them off. If you are willing and able to blow every single person off, you recognize your inability to settle for less than you deserve. That whole 'at least I have one or two holding on' mentality is played out like, what, an A Track! Get rid of 'em!!! Since I've deleted numbers and seriously kept it movin, a few have sensed that the coach has replaced them so they've started chiming through. Thanks for calling but it's not even that you're too late; it's that you really didn't truly care in the first place! And what do you say?!? NNNEEEEXXXXTTTT!!! LOL (But I'm nice about it, really.)
Until now, I've been fairly reluctant to date older. I definitely have a young spirit and there's lot of fun to be had. I'm finding people are settling into their 30s like they are really some old farts. But 30 is the new 20 baby, live it up like John Legend's song says! But I've come to notice there are a few early 30s folks who are mature but can enjoy a laugh...experienced but not so scorned...wanting to live their dreams and not just settle for less...so that's all well and good. At this point, the roster thing is getting old so you know...a great captain will do the trick!
Before I go I just wanted to mention one more thing. I've been speaking a lot about the significance of time and numbers and whatnot. And one thing seems blatantly obvious to me. 2007 was a year of completion and 2008 is a year of new beginnings. Within the last year, almost everyone on the Chronicles has made a big transition, whether it was a job change, moving, getting married, having a baby, going back to school, turning a hobby into a business, mending or starting a new relationship, or simply getting rid of the okie doke, things are moving forward and I am so excited for everyone. I hope we're keeping that forward momentum as the seasons change. Like I've been drilling (lol), there's no time like the present. Or like Common says, 'The present is a gift and I just wanna BE.'
So be happy, great, be love, be life...
Kristen Victoria
Since I've been here, my cousin J and I have discussed the topic of dating. I told him in the last two months, I've had to completely wipe out the stable and start anew. The stable, the roster if you will, was just acting up and I can't whine and complain til the cows come home. I gotta recruit a whole other set of players cause ya'lls hitting everything BUT net! Next!!!
J went on to explain the 'cop and blow' theory, which goes a little something like... sometimes you're coppin' folks and ringing 'em in, other times you have to blow them off. If you are willing and able to blow every single person off, you recognize your inability to settle for less than you deserve. That whole 'at least I have one or two holding on' mentality is played out like, what, an A Track! Get rid of 'em!!! Since I've deleted numbers and seriously kept it movin, a few have sensed that the coach has replaced them so they've started chiming through. Thanks for calling but it's not even that you're too late; it's that you really didn't truly care in the first place! And what do you say?!? NNNEEEEXXXXTTTT!!! LOL (But I'm nice about it, really.)
Until now, I've been fairly reluctant to date older. I definitely have a young spirit and there's lot of fun to be had. I'm finding people are settling into their 30s like they are really some old farts. But 30 is the new 20 baby, live it up like John Legend's song says! But I've come to notice there are a few early 30s folks who are mature but can enjoy a laugh...experienced but not so scorned...wanting to live their dreams and not just settle for less...so that's all well and good. At this point, the roster thing is getting old so you know...a great captain will do the trick!
Before I go I just wanted to mention one more thing. I've been speaking a lot about the significance of time and numbers and whatnot. And one thing seems blatantly obvious to me. 2007 was a year of completion and 2008 is a year of new beginnings. Within the last year, almost everyone on the Chronicles has made a big transition, whether it was a job change, moving, getting married, having a baby, going back to school, turning a hobby into a business, mending or starting a new relationship, or simply getting rid of the okie doke, things are moving forward and I am so excited for everyone. I hope we're keeping that forward momentum as the seasons change. Like I've been drilling (lol), there's no time like the present. Or like Common says, 'The present is a gift and I just wanna BE.'
So be happy, great, be love, be life...
Kristen Victoria
LIVE LOVE LIFE IN 2008 - The 'Let's Go Get 'Em' Chronicles of Kris - 06/28/08
Family,
I sent this note at the top of the year but it's almost the middle of the year and may be time for a refresher. I am sending this email because I have had quite a few conversations with people on this list about *goals* and really making the year great. With that said, I'd like to send my own personal method to making my dreams come true. This has worked for me since I started writing formal lists in 2004.
Every year, I write something called a *Dream Sheet,* a full document listing ALL of my goals, from the very minute to the biggest (and what most call unattainable). I do NOT think with limits, I do NOT dream with roadblocks, and most of the time, I do NOT share my biggest goals with people because I am not looking for approval from anyone but God. This document is almost like a goal brainstorm...list EVERYTHING you want to do AND devise a plan on how it will happen.
In actuality, YOU have been part of my dream sheet, because in the last few years, I have prayed to be surrounded by like-minded people and organizations that will continue to feed my spirit. Even listing this and focusing on adding positive energy to my life has been a blessing beyond words. Of course, throughout the year, your dream sheets will grow and change...you will work your way to realizing you want more, or maybe you don't even want to do what you once thought you did. I write a yearly dream sheet, but I also write quarterly goals as well. My mom keeps a journey poster, one with visual pictures of what she wants. I simply list.
Here's an example. LIST EVERYTHING (there are a few examples below)
ACADEMIC (I.E. goals for a GPA, or if you are out of school, reading more/ obtaining more knowledge in your field of interest)
BUSINESS (I.E. goals for your current employment)
CULTURAL
DOMESTIC
EMOTIONAL (I.E. maybe there's a situation weighing you down or maybe you want to be more comfortable or confident with being yourself)
ENTREPRENEURIAL
EXTRA-CURRICULAR
FAMILY
FINANCIAL
RELATIONSHIP
SPIRITUAL
SOCIAL
VOLUNTEER
OTHER
This works for me and it will for you if you truly believe in your potential. Pray Pray Pray, Work Work Work, Believe Believe Believe and you will achieve...ALSO, PLEASE DON'T BE AFRAID TO GET RID OF PEOPLE AND THINGS THAT ARE TYING YOU DOWN. AND ALSO, PLEASE GET OUT OF YOUR WAY -- MEANING, DON'T MAKE EXCUSES. PLEASE DON'T WASTE YOUR OWN TIME SAYING THE SAME TIRED STUFF YOU SAID LAST YEAR OR MAYBE EVEN TWO YEARS AGO. I WANNA SEE YOU FLY!!!!!
Love,
Kristen Victoria
P.S. To make something special you have to believe it's special. There is no special ingredient...Except you.
I sent this note at the top of the year but it's almost the middle of the year and may be time for a refresher. I am sending this email because I have had quite a few conversations with people on this list about *goals* and really making the year great. With that said, I'd like to send my own personal method to making my dreams come true. This has worked for me since I started writing formal lists in 2004.
Every year, I write something called a *Dream Sheet,* a full document listing ALL of my goals, from the very minute to the biggest (and what most call unattainable). I do NOT think with limits, I do NOT dream with roadblocks, and most of the time, I do NOT share my biggest goals with people because I am not looking for approval from anyone but God. This document is almost like a goal brainstorm...list EVERYTHING you want to do AND devise a plan on how it will happen.
In actuality, YOU have been part of my dream sheet, because in the last few years, I have prayed to be surrounded by like-minded people and organizations that will continue to feed my spirit. Even listing this and focusing on adding positive energy to my life has been a blessing beyond words. Of course, throughout the year, your dream sheets will grow and change...you will work your way to realizing you want more, or maybe you don't even want to do what you once thought you did. I write a yearly dream sheet, but I also write quarterly goals as well. My mom keeps a journey poster, one with visual pictures of what she wants. I simply list.
Here's an example. LIST EVERYTHING (there are a few examples below)
ACADEMIC (I.E. goals for a GPA, or if you are out of school, reading more/ obtaining more knowledge in your field of interest)
BUSINESS (I.E. goals for your current employment)
CULTURAL
DOMESTIC
EMOTIONAL (I.E. maybe there's a situation weighing you down or maybe you want to be more comfortable or confident with being yourself)
ENTREPRENEURIAL
EXTRA-CURRICULAR
FAMILY
FINANCIAL
RELATIONSHIP
SPIRITUAL
SOCIAL
VOLUNTEER
OTHER
This works for me and it will for you if you truly believe in your potential. Pray Pray Pray, Work Work Work, Believe Believe Believe and you will achieve...ALSO, PLEASE DON'T BE AFRAID TO GET RID OF PEOPLE AND THINGS THAT ARE TYING YOU DOWN. AND ALSO, PLEASE GET OUT OF YOUR WAY -- MEANING, DON'T MAKE EXCUSES. PLEASE DON'T WASTE YOUR OWN TIME SAYING THE SAME TIRED STUFF YOU SAID LAST YEAR OR MAYBE EVEN TWO YEARS AGO. I WANNA SEE YOU FLY!!!!!
Love,
Kristen Victoria
P.S. To make something special you have to believe it's special. There is no special ingredient...Except you.
The "Walk In It" Chronicles of Kris - 06/09/08
Hey Family,
Shout out to the newbies - we have a lot of new Chroniclers so welcome! :)
I've given your replies to last week's Chronicles a lot of thought, especially this message -
'By the time you've gotten up the nerve to express your interest in a person, it is simply TOO late.' That statement rings true in my 'liking' history, as I reflected on all the guys I've had crushes on in my life and the ones I've actually said something to. Until pretty recently, by the time I blurted (yes, blurted) something out, it was either years later or I gave up on the person getting the hint or I just felt like telling a funny and didn't let them know seriously, which gives them the opinion to either have me repeat it again at another time or simply ignore
it. I know - BAD MOVE! But I wasn't always kick ass Kris. I had my days of serious insecurity, where I felt too tall, too brown, too outspoken...what can I say it's part of the growing pains of life and it happens to the best of us.
Sidenote: And don't assume that because a woman is focused and independent, she doesn't welcome a strong partner. I am willing to share the shine! Ok, back to the regularly scheduled program...)
But of course as you get older and grow into yourself (and realize the ones who were 'so fine' in high school have maxed out by the time college is over), you start to pop your collar and go, 'Hey, I am serious prime real estate!' And although the fear of rejection rings true from time to time for all of us, at least it isn't completely paralyzing and overwhelming like it used to be.
One thing I've realized in life is that in every area, 'what's for you is for you' and all you can do is walk in it. Last week felt like a whirlwind to me because so many things were moving at once, and a lot of times I try to push myself harder because I'm trying to keep up with what seems like God's plan. Like if I have a slow week, I'm thinking, 'Oh no, this doesn't mean slow down
the pace. I have to pick up my focus cause you're about to bless me real good.'
In this industry, I'm finding that the good ones stick together and that's been evident in my connections thus far. I've been in communication with a great lady, Essie Chambers, who is the VP of Development at Nickelodeon's The N channel. It all started from me sending a 'random' email to her just introducing myself and letting her know I'm a follower of her work and would love to chat. Long story short, she hit me back and was very excited about 'helping me become
the best showrunner I can be' although I hadn't even expressed my interest in executive producing.
Well a few weeks ago, Essie told me I need to get in touch with Tracey Moore, a wonderful acting coach/casting agent. She told me she'd get her information to me and before she could do that, a family friend (shout out to Billy) took me to an acting class...taught by her. We connected and all I can think is wow, God is good. It's now not just one avenue; I'm getting to the people I need to get to just because...and it's not me getting me there. I'm just walking in it.
Everything we want and need is already within us, and it's our jobs to allow that greatness to shine and CREATE our happiness, or at least try our hardest to minimalize the dumbness. I believe in good energy at all times, and don't compromise your happiness and growth for ANYONE!
Case and point, House Party! I'm sure you remember when Play tells Dragon Breath
Bilal to 'STEP...just STEP' when he scratched up his speakers. LOL Whenever people start rubbing me the wrong way, I see Play in my mind. Seriously... 'STEP!' I don't wanna hear it! Yo, sometimes it be's like that! Don't feel obligated to listen to someone who's bringing you down and distracting you from your victory.
Sometimes I see life like a long road, where I need to stop at various houses along the way. One for food, another for shelter, another for words of wisdom, another for friendship. I know my destination down that path, but I have no clue who or what obstacles/miracles will come my way along the journey. I just know by the time I reach my destination, I will have been tested, touched, strengthened, and renewed to become a better me. And this, my friends, is a part of the journey and it is made sweeter because of all of you.
One of my all time favorite movies is The Wiz. I can't stand The Wizard of Oz because when the Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, the Scarecrow, and Dorothy reach their goals, the Oz people (I forgot what they are called) give them some stupid medallions. What is that? Forget that fake stuff. By the end of The Wiz, they all realize the qualities they've been looking for, they already had all along. And they had the most heart, the most intelligence, and the most courage! YOU
have those same qualities and more...
I love you all so much!
Jabbawockee Masks, T-Shirts, Flashing Lights, and Kangol Hats,
Kristen Victoria
Shout out to the newbies - we have a lot of new Chroniclers so welcome! :)
I've given your replies to last week's Chronicles a lot of thought, especially this message -
'By the time you've gotten up the nerve to express your interest in a person, it is simply TOO late.' That statement rings true in my 'liking' history, as I reflected on all the guys I've had crushes on in my life and the ones I've actually said something to. Until pretty recently, by the time I blurted (yes, blurted) something out, it was either years later or I gave up on the person getting the hint or I just felt like telling a funny and didn't let them know seriously, which gives them the opinion to either have me repeat it again at another time or simply ignore
it. I know - BAD MOVE! But I wasn't always kick ass Kris. I had my days of serious insecurity, where I felt too tall, too brown, too outspoken...what can I say it's part of the growing pains of life and it happens to the best of us.
Sidenote: And don't assume that because a woman is focused and independent, she doesn't welcome a strong partner. I am willing to share the shine! Ok, back to the regularly scheduled program...)
But of course as you get older and grow into yourself (and realize the ones who were 'so fine' in high school have maxed out by the time college is over), you start to pop your collar and go, 'Hey, I am serious prime real estate!' And although the fear of rejection rings true from time to time for all of us, at least it isn't completely paralyzing and overwhelming like it used to be.
One thing I've realized in life is that in every area, 'what's for you is for you' and all you can do is walk in it. Last week felt like a whirlwind to me because so many things were moving at once, and a lot of times I try to push myself harder because I'm trying to keep up with what seems like God's plan. Like if I have a slow week, I'm thinking, 'Oh no, this doesn't mean slow down
the pace. I have to pick up my focus cause you're about to bless me real good.'
In this industry, I'm finding that the good ones stick together and that's been evident in my connections thus far. I've been in communication with a great lady, Essie Chambers, who is the VP of Development at Nickelodeon's The N channel. It all started from me sending a 'random' email to her just introducing myself and letting her know I'm a follower of her work and would love to chat. Long story short, she hit me back and was very excited about 'helping me become
the best showrunner I can be' although I hadn't even expressed my interest in executive producing.
Well a few weeks ago, Essie told me I need to get in touch with Tracey Moore, a wonderful acting coach/casting agent. She told me she'd get her information to me and before she could do that, a family friend (shout out to Billy) took me to an acting class...taught by her. We connected and all I can think is wow, God is good. It's now not just one avenue; I'm getting to the people I need to get to just because...and it's not me getting me there. I'm just walking in it.
Everything we want and need is already within us, and it's our jobs to allow that greatness to shine and CREATE our happiness, or at least try our hardest to minimalize the dumbness. I believe in good energy at all times, and don't compromise your happiness and growth for ANYONE!
Case and point, House Party! I'm sure you remember when Play tells Dragon Breath
Bilal to 'STEP...just STEP' when he scratched up his speakers. LOL Whenever people start rubbing me the wrong way, I see Play in my mind. Seriously... 'STEP!' I don't wanna hear it! Yo, sometimes it be's like that! Don't feel obligated to listen to someone who's bringing you down and distracting you from your victory.
Sometimes I see life like a long road, where I need to stop at various houses along the way. One for food, another for shelter, another for words of wisdom, another for friendship. I know my destination down that path, but I have no clue who or what obstacles/miracles will come my way along the journey. I just know by the time I reach my destination, I will have been tested, touched, strengthened, and renewed to become a better me. And this, my friends, is a part of the journey and it is made sweeter because of all of you.
One of my all time favorite movies is The Wiz. I can't stand The Wizard of Oz because when the Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, the Scarecrow, and Dorothy reach their goals, the Oz people (I forgot what they are called) give them some stupid medallions. What is that? Forget that fake stuff. By the end of The Wiz, they all realize the qualities they've been looking for, they already had all along. And they had the most heart, the most intelligence, and the most courage! YOU
have those same qualities and more...
I love you all so much!
Jabbawockee Masks, T-Shirts, Flashing Lights, and Kangol Hats,
Kristen Victoria
The "Crush on You" Chronicles of Kris - 06/02/08
Hey Family!
So I'm hitting a crossroads. Amidst the cornballs who approach me on a daily basis, I'm starting to meet a few people I actually kinda sorta find interesting. Which means I'll have to step outside of my comfort zone and say something. Gasp, clutch the pearls! What's a young lady to do?
I know what she should not do. Kristen, please do not crush! Pleeeaasssee! I'll admit it...for some reason, I find comfort in developing secret (or not so secret) admiration, and that's not good. I understand that crushing is a lot easier for me because I control the outcome, even if it's stagnation. It's stagnation on MY terms. But you know what, that's a punk move! And I, Kristen Victoria Carter, am no punk. So I must hold my head up high and look rejection
or reciprocated admiration in the face and say...Damn it, I like you!...or something along those lines. Argh, that's so tough for me!
One thing I've pondered a lot lately is the idea(l) that the man should seek the woman. Although that's always been the way I'd like it to be, that's not always the way it ends up. The seekers are never as interesting as the sought out. But does that mean that I (the seeker on the other end) will end up less interesting because I'm the one seeking? Do you get my drift?
So fellas, I pose a question to you and if you care to, answer! Do you like being the seeker or the sought out? Do you like straight forward women...or is that too much? Is it as uncomfortable to approach a woman, as it is for women to approach? Or have you gotten so used to the playing field that neither rejection or approval tingle with disappointment or excitement?
Or do you think analyzing just wastes too much time?
And also answer this, are you meeting as many corny women as I am meeting men? Gosh darn it! If I get one more lame-o text...
Write me back...and ladies, if you care to share, hit the crackberry too.
Cool Relaxin with my Jon B CD,
Kris
So I'm hitting a crossroads. Amidst the cornballs who approach me on a daily basis, I'm starting to meet a few people I actually kinda sorta find interesting. Which means I'll have to step outside of my comfort zone and say something. Gasp, clutch the pearls! What's a young lady to do?
I know what she should not do. Kristen, please do not crush! Pleeeaasssee! I'll admit it...for some reason, I find comfort in developing secret (or not so secret) admiration, and that's not good. I understand that crushing is a lot easier for me because I control the outcome, even if it's stagnation. It's stagnation on MY terms. But you know what, that's a punk move! And I, Kristen Victoria Carter, am no punk. So I must hold my head up high and look rejection
or reciprocated admiration in the face and say...Damn it, I like you!...or something along those lines. Argh, that's so tough for me!
One thing I've pondered a lot lately is the idea(l) that the man should seek the woman. Although that's always been the way I'd like it to be, that's not always the way it ends up. The seekers are never as interesting as the sought out. But does that mean that I (the seeker on the other end) will end up less interesting because I'm the one seeking? Do you get my drift?
So fellas, I pose a question to you and if you care to, answer! Do you like being the seeker or the sought out? Do you like straight forward women...or is that too much? Is it as uncomfortable to approach a woman, as it is for women to approach? Or have you gotten so used to the playing field that neither rejection or approval tingle with disappointment or excitement?
Or do you think analyzing just wastes too much time?
And also answer this, are you meeting as many corny women as I am meeting men? Gosh darn it! If I get one more lame-o text...
Write me back...and ladies, if you care to share, hit the crackberry too.
Cool Relaxin with my Jon B CD,
Kris
The "Lunch Bunch" Chronicles of Kris - 05/29/08
Maybe it's time for me to go on vacation. Lately I've been taking three-hour lunches. Not only because I can but because I SHOULD! It's good for my health. And besides, never ever cut off interesting people when they're in a groove.
Today I went out to lunch with my favorite DJ. Woooo finally! I thought I'd never get him out! I'm sure he has no idea that I've wanted to hang out since this time last year but I figured maybe the excitement he stirs up when he plays Bernard Wright's Who Do You Love and then mixes into LL Cool J's Loungin remix could translate elsewhere. Shrug. Again, I'm sure he has no clue I've even thought about him beyond my song requests. I definitely only speak to him about music.
Now that I think of it, I used to assume he was a little startled by me. On several occasions, I ran up on him in the DJ booth. I've jumped and waved in front of him - AAAAAAH! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST PLAYED 'SATURDAY LOVE'...'STEELO'....JADE'S DON'T WALK AWAY...WHO PLAYS QUEEN LATIFAH'S SONG 'IT'S ALRUGHT'?!?! I LOVE YOU!!! So when I also yell, 'HEY! DO YOU WANNA HANG OUT SOMETIME?,' maybe it doesn't go over in his mind. But maybe he just gets a kick out of me. What's very interesting about him is that although he is the BEST DJ in NY in my opinion, he's not hype AT ALL! He will play for 5 hours and he'll shout me out on the mic at any and every party he sees me wildin the f out but when he's mixing, he just kinda sits there.
Enter 'cloud above my head' moment...Maybe I need a guy on the 1s and 2s. Someone who knows how to control me with music. That'd be GREAT! For example...So I start yelling, 'But baby, what the hell are you talking bout! You're so stupid...'DJ Kristen's Man breaks out -Insert: Aaliyah's Back and Forth* Kristen than forgets EVERYTHING going on and drops her bags and kicks off her shoes and starts jamming* DJ Kristen's Man thinks, 'Mission Accomplished!' End Scene!
Wouldn't that be great? Oh man! That's what I'm talking about. LOL Although we went to lunch, I didn't manage to ask him anything really personal. I don't know why. He seems like such a calm person; I'm really scared of scaring him cause I'm jumpy and kinda all over the place. But I'm a funny haha, not a funny oh no! Really! Even if we're just cool, it's all good. Nice guy...
But seriously, I think a DJ could save my life! Don't cha think?!?
Pondering...
Kris
Today I went out to lunch with my favorite DJ. Woooo finally! I thought I'd never get him out! I'm sure he has no idea that I've wanted to hang out since this time last year but I figured maybe the excitement he stirs up when he plays Bernard Wright's Who Do You Love and then mixes into LL Cool J's Loungin remix could translate elsewhere. Shrug. Again, I'm sure he has no clue I've even thought about him beyond my song requests. I definitely only speak to him about music.
Now that I think of it, I used to assume he was a little startled by me. On several occasions, I ran up on him in the DJ booth. I've jumped and waved in front of him - AAAAAAH! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST PLAYED 'SATURDAY LOVE'...'STEELO'....JADE'S DON'T WALK AWAY...WHO PLAYS QUEEN LATIFAH'S SONG 'IT'S ALRUGHT'?!?! I LOVE YOU!!! So when I also yell, 'HEY! DO YOU WANNA HANG OUT SOMETIME?,' maybe it doesn't go over in his mind. But maybe he just gets a kick out of me. What's very interesting about him is that although he is the BEST DJ in NY in my opinion, he's not hype AT ALL! He will play for 5 hours and he'll shout me out on the mic at any and every party he sees me wildin the f out but when he's mixing, he just kinda sits there.
Enter 'cloud above my head' moment...Maybe I need a guy on the 1s and 2s. Someone who knows how to control me with music. That'd be GREAT! For example...So I start yelling, 'But baby, what the hell are you talking bout! You're so stupid...'DJ Kristen's Man breaks out -Insert: Aaliyah's Back and Forth* Kristen than forgets EVERYTHING going on and drops her bags and kicks off her shoes and starts jamming* DJ Kristen's Man thinks, 'Mission Accomplished!' End Scene!
Wouldn't that be great? Oh man! That's what I'm talking about. LOL Although we went to lunch, I didn't manage to ask him anything really personal. I don't know why. He seems like such a calm person; I'm really scared of scaring him cause I'm jumpy and kinda all over the place. But I'm a funny haha, not a funny oh no! Really! Even if we're just cool, it's all good. Nice guy...
But seriously, I think a DJ could save my life! Don't cha think?!?
Pondering...
Kris
Blast from the Past - The "I'm Learning to Date" Chronicles of Kris - 04/11/08
Hey Everyone,
Last night I went out to Negril's with Nicole (who's on this list - BUMBACLOT lol) and two guys, one of which is a great artist and JazziDreamer's first official client, Lance Drummonds - check him out on myspace.com/lancedrummonds and lancedrummondsmusic.com. Anyway, we were sitting there waiting for our meals, then my phone started to go off like crazy in my pocket. It was this dude that's kinda ok I guess. I sigh every time the phone rings thinking, 'Damn, why did I give this dude my number in the first place?!?' We haven't even been out on a date once and he's already annoying me, trying to clock me. So I burst out to Lance, 'Why do the ones you don't like track you down, and the ones you like just don't pay you any damn mind!!!' Lance says it's the phermones. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE I DON'T REALLY KNOW OR CARE ABOUT TRY TO TRACK ME! UGH...Ok, my outburst is over. But seriously, when you don't care, these fools come running.
During our conversation, I asked Lance how he got with his ex-girlfriend - did he snag her or did she snag him. He said without question, she snagged him because she was direct. She let him know she was interested but would only spend time with him, nothing more for a period of 4-5 months. He said the best way to get a guy is to give him nothing, or give him everything. He says that it gave her enough time to really consider who he was and not make any hasty decisions.*I appreciated his honesty, and in general I feel like most of my male friends are very candid so shout out to the bros!!!
Then his friend Dre got to the table and they discussed the plight of 20-something year old guys being in deeply committed relationships. This is Dre - 'Listen, my relationship is like this. Imagine you get this gigantic feast right, except you're not that hungry. It looks good, it smells good, but you're not quite ready to sit down at the table and grub. But, are you gonna let Thanksgiving dinner go to waste? Are you gonna let someone else take a bite of your meal? Hell no! Cause once someone takes a bite of YOUR dinner, you don't want it anymore and now everyone's unhappy. The food got picked at, and now you don't wanna bother and the plate's gone to waste.' That had to be the funniest, most straight forward analogy I've ever heard.
You know I had to go on and on about my crazy situations and I told them as much junk as I talk about being confused and blah-zay-blah, I have to admit that I've encountered some really great guys (who weren't and aren't out to play me). It just wasn't our time but in the end, I've learned something really poignant about myself which I guess is really all we can ask for.
The last six months or so I've been a bit more cautious about what I do or say to men, allowing them to take more of the lead - whether if it's with directions, plans, whatever - at this point I feel like THEY need to figure it out. Recently I went out and my date had no clue how to get to our destination. Luckily, I napped and ate prior to leaving the house so I was fine walking the NY streets at midnight. Normally, I would direct but I forced myself to fall back and just let him find the way. But after 20 minutes, I finally just had to call out and say, 'The lounge is over here.'
Although I don't wanna take over, I don't have to OD with it and end up on the other side of town. LOL
But I'm learning...
Enjoy the moments,
Kristen Victoria
Last night I went out to Negril's with Nicole (who's on this list - BUMBACLOT lol) and two guys, one of which is a great artist and JazziDreamer's first official client, Lance Drummonds - check him out on myspace.com/lancedrummonds and lancedrummondsmusic.com. Anyway, we were sitting there waiting for our meals, then my phone started to go off like crazy in my pocket. It was this dude that's kinda ok I guess. I sigh every time the phone rings thinking, 'Damn, why did I give this dude my number in the first place?!?' We haven't even been out on a date once and he's already annoying me, trying to clock me. So I burst out to Lance, 'Why do the ones you don't like track you down, and the ones you like just don't pay you any damn mind!!!' Lance says it's the phermones. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE I DON'T REALLY KNOW OR CARE ABOUT TRY TO TRACK ME! UGH...Ok, my outburst is over. But seriously, when you don't care, these fools come running.
During our conversation, I asked Lance how he got with his ex-girlfriend - did he snag her or did she snag him. He said without question, she snagged him because she was direct. She let him know she was interested but would only spend time with him, nothing more for a period of 4-5 months. He said the best way to get a guy is to give him nothing, or give him everything. He says that it gave her enough time to really consider who he was and not make any hasty decisions.*I appreciated his honesty, and in general I feel like most of my male friends are very candid so shout out to the bros!!!
Then his friend Dre got to the table and they discussed the plight of 20-something year old guys being in deeply committed relationships. This is Dre - 'Listen, my relationship is like this. Imagine you get this gigantic feast right, except you're not that hungry. It looks good, it smells good, but you're not quite ready to sit down at the table and grub. But, are you gonna let Thanksgiving dinner go to waste? Are you gonna let someone else take a bite of your meal? Hell no! Cause once someone takes a bite of YOUR dinner, you don't want it anymore and now everyone's unhappy. The food got picked at, and now you don't wanna bother and the plate's gone to waste.' That had to be the funniest, most straight forward analogy I've ever heard.
You know I had to go on and on about my crazy situations and I told them as much junk as I talk about being confused and blah-zay-blah, I have to admit that I've encountered some really great guys (who weren't and aren't out to play me). It just wasn't our time but in the end, I've learned something really poignant about myself which I guess is really all we can ask for.
The last six months or so I've been a bit more cautious about what I do or say to men, allowing them to take more of the lead - whether if it's with directions, plans, whatever - at this point I feel like THEY need to figure it out. Recently I went out and my date had no clue how to get to our destination. Luckily, I napped and ate prior to leaving the house so I was fine walking the NY streets at midnight. Normally, I would direct but I forced myself to fall back and just let him find the way. But after 20 minutes, I finally just had to call out and say, 'The lounge is over here.'
Although I don't wanna take over, I don't have to OD with it and end up on the other side of town. LOL
But I'm learning...
Enjoy the moments,
Kristen Victoria
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
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