Hey Everyone,
Last night I went out to Negril's with Nicole (who's on this list - BUMBACLOT lol) and two guys, one of which is a great artist and JazziDreamer's first official client, Lance Drummonds - check him out on myspace.com/lancedrummonds and lancedrummondsmusic.com. Anyway, we were sitting there waiting for our meals, then my phone started to go off like crazy in my pocket. It was this dude that's kinda ok I guess. I sigh every time the phone rings thinking, 'Damn, why did I give this dude my number in the first place?!?' We haven't even been out on a date once and he's already annoying me, trying to clock me. So I burst out to Lance, 'Why do the ones you don't like track you down, and the ones you like just don't pay you any damn mind!!!' Lance says it's the phermones. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE I DON'T REALLY KNOW OR CARE ABOUT TRY TO TRACK ME! UGH...Ok, my outburst is over. But seriously, when you don't care, these fools come running.
During our conversation, I asked Lance how he got with his ex-girlfriend - did he snag her or did she snag him. He said without question, she snagged him because she was direct. She let him know she was interested but would only spend time with him, nothing more for a period of 4-5 months. He said the best way to get a guy is to give him nothing, or give him everything. He says that it gave her enough time to really consider who he was and not make any hasty decisions.*I appreciated his honesty, and in general I feel like most of my male friends are very candid so shout out to the bros!!!
Then his friend Dre got to the table and they discussed the plight of 20-something year old guys being in deeply committed relationships. This is Dre - 'Listen, my relationship is like this. Imagine you get this gigantic feast right, except you're not that hungry. It looks good, it smells good, but you're not quite ready to sit down at the table and grub. But, are you gonna let Thanksgiving dinner go to waste? Are you gonna let someone else take a bite of your meal? Hell no! Cause once someone takes a bite of YOUR dinner, you don't want it anymore and now everyone's unhappy. The food got picked at, and now you don't wanna bother and the plate's gone to waste.' That had to be the funniest, most straight forward analogy I've ever heard.
You know I had to go on and on about my crazy situations and I told them as much junk as I talk about being confused and blah-zay-blah, I have to admit that I've encountered some really great guys (who weren't and aren't out to play me). It just wasn't our time but in the end, I've learned something really poignant about myself which I guess is really all we can ask for.
The last six months or so I've been a bit more cautious about what I do or say to men, allowing them to take more of the lead - whether if it's with directions, plans, whatever - at this point I feel like THEY need to figure it out. Recently I went out and my date had no clue how to get to our destination. Luckily, I napped and ate prior to leaving the house so I was fine walking the NY streets at midnight. Normally, I would direct but I forced myself to fall back and just let him find the way. But after 20 minutes, I finally just had to call out and say, 'The lounge is over here.'
Although I don't wanna take over, I don't have to OD with it and end up on the other side of town. LOL
But I'm learning...
Enjoy the moments,
Kristen Victoria
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment