The 'Sprite Factor' Chronicles of Kris - 12/22/08

Good Morning Everyone,
The holidays are officially among us. Christmas feels a little less commercial this year – maybe because I turned off the tv and refused to go to the mall except to SELL back electronics at FYE. But more evidently, this “let’s just be together around the fire” sentiment has a lot to do with the economy falling flat on its behind, just like I did the ONE time I tried to go outside during the snow storm on Friday. Man, you know how you feel things transpire in slow motion as they are happening? Nope, that wasn’t me. Frazier was up and then she was dooown in the worst way! Everything went flying out of my hands EXCEPT for…you guessed it…my Crackberry. Geez…someone hook me up with an endorsement already.

Two Fridays ago I accepted an invitation to go out to dinner with an old friend. To give you some very brief background, it was another one of those “swing and miss” situations – he likes me, I like him, then he doesn’t act like he likes me, I follow suit, then I find out he was confused about his attraction to me, and then I just leave it alone. NEXT. You know how it goes…After catching up for a bit, he started saying some nonsense like, “I’m glad we’re still friends.” Huh? I’m very careful about giving people the privilege of being slapped with the friend title. My reply, “I didn’t know we were friends.” LOL. I wouldn’t constitute our interaction as being friends, as he couldn’t seem to get off the same “what happened, why don’t we talk” conversation. Now that I’m starting to seek understanding in my relationships with guys, I realize a lot more gets lost in translation than one would think. The obvious hints, bread crumbs, all of that does not mean a thing. “Awww, he shoulda known, couldn’t he tell?” WHOMP WHOMP! It’s all about what you say and how you act, not how you feel and what you think those feelings are projecting.

The most important thing that I took away from this exchange was how hard he was trying to convince me of the type of man he is, as he probably didn’t appreciate being pegged as a “poser,” someone who does things for meaningless show. I continually said, “You could easily be the sweetest person; I didn’t experience that side of you, and that’s ok.” I’m sure he was more disappointed with how I perceive him more than anything, and that conversation made me think of several people struggling with the same thing.

IMAGE IS NOTHING!

When you are who you are, people see that! All this “I’m tryin’ to be, I don’t want people to think…” – that’s played! If you did something great or foul, just say, “Yea I did it, and what?!?” No one is perfect. IMAGE IS NOTHING! Stop trying to be and just be. If you’re an asshole, be the best asshole you can be! If you’re a sweetie pie pie, give someone an awful toothache cause that’s who you are – a sweetie pie pie! Or if you can’t figure it out, just move away and start over…that’ll help. LOL

Hmmm, this is also coming from someone whose image pretty much matches who I am – but even with that, it’s taken me a while to be comfortable with all sides of my personality and accept myself for who I am. I have some great qualities and some not-so-great qualities. I’m a team player at times, and a spoiled brat at times. I give effortlessly, but there are still “this is MY world” moments. I listen to most people's views, but I am politically incorrect. But that’s me. Leave it or love it. And I suggest we all do the same thing!

I’m sure the you you are is better than the you you force people to know. Why? Cause it’s effortless, it’s free, it’s fun, it’s uninhibited, and most importantly, it’s human. So take off those masks, it ain’t Halloween. Ok, I’m done. Onto another thought.

Three years ago I wrote down the top 8 philosophies I live by and they still apply. Hope you enjoy :)

*Our lives are really only just beginning. So in honor of this accomplishment, I've compiled the top eight things I've learned thus far in life:

8- Don't sweat the small stuff. You'll notice no one else is getting all bent out of shape but you. So breathe easy and realize it's just not that serious.
7- If drama is simply unavoidable, keep your head up, eyes open and mouth shut and retreat back to your camp. You can't control those around you but you can control how you react.
6- In relationships, don't assume a position you don't have.
5- Emotions override labels.
4- God gives us goals & dreams so that we can birth these visions into reality.
3- In order to remain happy, you must be protective of your personal space. MEANING USE LESS OF YOUR TIME WITH USELESS PEOPLE.
2- Don't become upset because other people lack the gift that God specifically gave to you.
1- There is great strength in vulnerability.

And in honor of Michael Jackson, who I heard was very ill – let’s hold a candle in the air for him -here’s one of my favorite MJ quotes:“When I think of courage, I think of the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz. He was always running away from danger. He often cried and shook with fear. But he was also sharing his real feelings with those he loved, even though he didn’t always like those feelings. That takes real courage, the courage to be intimate. Expressing your feelings is not the same as falling apart in front of someone else- it’s being accepting and true to your heart, whatever it may say. When you have the courage to be intimate, you know who you are, and you’re willing to let others see that. It’s scary, because you feel so vulnerable, so open to rejection. But without self-acceptance, the other kind of courage, the kind heroes show in movies, seems hollow. In spite of the risks, the courage to be honest and intimate opens the way to self-discovery. It offers what we all want, the promise of love. –Michael Jackson

XOXO,
Kristen Victoria